I Love a Parade

It was a little too chilly to swim at the lake this weekend. So, Curt and I thought we might take in the Spooner Rodeo Days parade. Yee haw! Here are the "highlights." If you find no highlights, well, don't be surprised. Neither did we. But we did get a lot of candy thrown at us after looking sad and holding out our hands. Fun.
The parade started with lots and lots of horses. It was Rodeo Days after all. Lots of poop and a little pee and these dazzling chaps.

A huge military display followed the horses. Family friendly parade my ass!

Amery, WI has the laziest bunch of royalty ever. They couldn't even lift their elbows to wave. They may as well have been passed out in a pile of Schlitz cans and cigarette butts on that float. Boooo. At least they dressed up.

Bad ass with Fez. Apparently Shriners have left behind their little cars for a dancing scooters. They did some nice formations, but it just wasn't as fun as little cars. I'm guessing as the Shriners age it is harder to get in and out of the little cars. Next year, electric wheelchairs.

Did you see the pictures of this guy that I posted at my bird feeders earlier this year. Cool.

Huh. How was this pageant judged? SIZE PERHAPS??? That is wrong. Wrong.

Again, the fat girl got second runner up. Hmpf.

If I have to walk one more step in this god forsaken moose costume, I'll.....

Sadly, only two marching bands showed up for the parade. The hometown band sort of bit the bag. This one was much better. I love percussion sections.

This "royalty" float, celebrating white trash obviously, was a little funny. Why? Because the two crown losers, I mean runners up, at the front were doing this staged "seig heil" sort of wave really fast and the queen at the back of the float was saying "You're waving too fast! Too fast!" The losers laughed and waved faster. They hated their queen.

These sad sacks showed up in the the middle of all the merriment with the downer signs and an even worse singer being pulled on a garden cart singing some maudlin tune. The whole crowd rolled their eyes, dug in their purses, went to get beverages, except for one lady across the street who started clapping loudly. As you know, I'm fine with expressing one's beliefs, but pick the right place and time. Merriment is not the right time for this message. And what does that sign mean anyway? That you were desperate for a rhyme?

This was a pretty cow. I like cows.

We were two blocks in on the parade route and already these kids carried the unmistakable expressions that said "I'm booooooored. I'm hooooooooott. I'm tiiiiiired." Kid, you wanted to be in the damn parade, so shape up. Smile. Get with the program or I'll take the car aerial after you.

FINALLY, the judges got it right. Hefty royalty! HOLLA!!

This large princess was second runner up but looked like more fun than any of them combined. She was having a good old time on the float. Next year. Next year.

And that about sums up the parade. Not really exciting but I'm glad we went.

The Finished Product

Last weekend I posted some befores and almost after pictures of the amazing work done by our friend Mr. MnMom (John) on our cabin. Well, this week, we got to see the finished product and dropped our jaws. It was far, far better than we could have imagined. Here are some after shots:We need to figure out what to do with all the wall we have now. Before we had one or two little pictures on the far wall. Now we need something a bit bigger. Any suggestions?
Our funky little north woods chandelier. No deer died in the making of this fixture.

The living room. Long and narrow is better with a high ceiling.

Another view of the living room with our fabulous new door looking out to the lake.

Because I Won't Scratch Her There...

...she has to do it her self. Here is the closer up pic of Claire in full scoot that is referenced below. It is a little fuzzy, but look at her closed-eye bliss.

You May Know Him as Mr. MNMom (John)...

...but we call him Anne Sullivan because he's a damn MIRACLE WORKER!! Okay, we don't call him that because that would just be annoying, and though he is a friend to the gays, having a girly name just doesn't really suit him.

So, not only does Mr. MNMom take a job 3 1/2 hours from his family for a whole week, he pulls off ridiculous amounts of work in just 5 days. There is still some painting and staining to be done, but you need to see some of these befores (taken at our inspection) and almost afters. I'll post more next weekend when the finishing touches are done. These are not our furnishings, just in case there was any confusion. :o)

BEFORE: Ceiling height at the wall with windows was about 6 feet or so. See the beams? That is painted insulation in between them. Everyone who toured the cabin stuck their fingers in the insulation. Not too pretty.

ALMOST AFTER: Wall height at the lake is around 7+ feet. Door height allows Curt to clear with inches to spare, where before the frame hit him square between the eyes. West wall slopes up to 11 feet. If you look closely you can see Claire just entering a full scoot on her behind. I'll blow it up later because she has a look of sheer bliss on her face, much like I do when I scratch my behind.

BEFORE: Again, low low ceiling height. Ugly light fixture. The wall at right was also painted insulation. Fugly. By the way, these beams on the ceiling were structural for the old roof. A few years back, the former owner had piled insulation on the old roof- held up by these beams- and put a new no maintenance metal roof on the place. John had to demo the entire old roof and remove about 20 inches of insulation. God bless him. That couldn't have been pleasant.

ALMOST AFTER: Amazing. We're replacing the ugly fixture with a north woods chandelier of deer antlers and wood. Fancy. Well, not completely fancy because the deer antlers aren't real. Real deer antler chandeliers cost a frickin' fortune. After two rounds of paint selection this weekend we settled on two colors- Arbitrary and Chic Beige for the accent walls. We had to find something that looked good with the two colors of stain on the pine- a little charming quirk we inherited.

BEFORE: Say hi to our friend Marina. If she is around, I make her model everything. I've got one of her modeling the fridge. She's a good sport. Anyway, a long narrow room with low ceilings made us tall boys feel a little claustrophobic. John also whacked his hand on the ceiling while doing a charade of the pope during a lively round of Celebrity. The low ceilings had to go.

ALMOST AFTER: Low ceiling gone. Built in shelf at the far end of the room- John's genius at work. All weekend, Curt and I just walked around with our jaws dropped at what had been accomplished. And he even did it all around all the wavy surfaces and logs for window frames and hornets nests and me e-mailing every 5 seconds. Incredible.

Mish Mash

I return to blogging with a bunch of disconnected mish mash. Off we go...

1. The 5th floor men's restroom at work continues to horrify me. We've finally gotten rid of the boogers- it took me two maintenance requests. I'm sure by now I'm known to the maintenance staff as Booger Boy. Today, though, we reached a new low. I wandered in to the handicapped stall, which I typically do, because it is a little roomier and the toilet is higher. My worst fear of course would be that one day, I see a pair of impatient wheels roll up outside the stall and... never mind. I digress. So, anyway, I wander in to the stall and go to grab some paper for the seat, when what horror of horrors did I see? I'll tell you. All over the seat and completely covering the floor around the toilet were.... giant flakes of dead skin! Not just 20 or 30 flakes. Oh no. This was about 300-400 flakes. Not just little flakes, but big curled 1/2 inch flakes. *gagging* How does this happen? Does someone with a really dry butt seat on the seat and scratch their thighs while doing their business? I've never seen such a thing. Is there a doctor in the house? Feh. Now go eat some corn flakes.

2. The cabin has been an absolute joy. We've been having great weekends up north with the dogs. We have human visitors too. The MnMoms came for a visit over the Memorial Day weekend. If you're looking for the perfect guests, invite them over. Low maintenance and good food.

Here is MNMom herself and youngest offspring kayaking on the lake.

Here is Claire, Mr. MNMom (John) and the ever lovely Curt enjoying the early evening in front of the cabin.

3. Speaking of the MNMoms.... Mr. MNMom (John) is a craftsman extraordinaire. He just finished 4 projects at our house in Golden Valley and is up at the cabin for the week vaulting the ceilings in the dining room and living room. He has years in the home construction business and is meticulous about his work. I'll give you his number if you're in need of a contractor. Truly outstanding and a really nice guy to boot.

4. Sunday morning I was out kayaking on the lake and was the only person on the water. It was a pretty cool and misty morning so people must have just stayed inside or something. So, I paddled out to the middle of the lake, set down my paddle and sat there with my eyes closed for about 5 minutes. What an incredible sense of peace. Shortly thereafter, a bald eagle flew directly overhead across the lake. So I stood up in the kayak and started singing a rousing chorus of 'Proud to Be An American' and promptly flipped the kayak. Okay, that last part wasn't true, but I did see the bald eagle.

5. Speaking of that dreadful song, our friend M just returned from a quick vacation to Branson, MO where she saw a sextet of singers perform at one of the many theaters. At the end of the show, they made the audience stand while they sang "Proud To Be An American." Does that sound a little funky to you, too? I'm all for standing for the national anthem. I'm not at all about ascribing the same sense of respect to a pop song that capitalized on the war in Afghanistan after 9/11. I'm a little crabby about this. Maybe I should just let it go.

6. Work has been tough. Long days and difficult situations. *sigh* I signed up for this? MNMom agreed that I'm too old to be a hooker any more, or at least there is limited niche market for us chubby middle aged types. So, I guess I'll stick it out. I'm grateful to have a job that pays well and where I'm reasonably well liked. I just need to whine about it now and then.

7. I have been crying at estate sales lately. It just started this year. I see these pieces of people's lives that get left behind and tagged with a sticker for 50 cents and I'm just ruined. I particularly have a hard time with family pictures that get put up for sale, or framed degrees, or anything that I imagine was treasured in the lives of the people who lived there. This obviously has something to do with the difficulty my family has had in wrapping up my dad's estate and the drama over stuff. Sad. I miss my parents every day.

Windy day...

So, have you ever been driving down the street on a really windy day and see that unfortunate person whose loose fitting clothing is blown tight up against every ripple, nipple and curve? And you think to yourself "Wow, that is a really unfortunate look." Yeah. Me too. Well, today 4th Avenue was a damn wind tunnel and I caught a glimpse of myself in a window being that unattractive wind blown person and quickly ducked in to the nearest building and opted for the skyway. Sad.

This just in from... where else? Texas, of course.

Real news story out of Texas today:

A family in Texas is saying... they've found Jesus in a cheese snack.
A Dallas couple, Sarah and Dan Bell, were leaving town and stopped to fill up their tank with gas.
They went inside to grab some snacks, and picked up a bag of Cheetos brand cheese snacks.
Sarah was eating them out of her hand when she noticed one looked like someone in a robe praying...
Moreover, they say it looked like Jesus!
The two have decided to name the snack "Cheesus."
They joked about putting Cheesus on E-bay, but they say they'll probably just eat it anyway.

First Weekend at The Lake

We're back from our first weekend up north as cabin owners. We're tired and very excited. At this moment though, mostly tired.

Friday we had our walk through and closing. We met the former owner, Jack, at the walk through. What a sweet old guy. He's 82. He and his wife retired to the cabin from Florida in 1985- a bit in reverse of most people. She died a few years back and he figured it was time to be closer to town. So, there we were. It felt a little strange and a little sad. In a way it felt like we were taking something away from him- the place where he and his wife spent their last years, where the grandkids came during the summer. He acknowledged at the closing that this was hard for him. We promised to take good care of the place and build lots of memories there. We also told him that if he ever needed to come out to see the place again, he is more than welcome. The whole interaction with Jack, of course, reminded me of how much I miss my dad. *sigh*

We spent the weekend, unpacking, arranging, rearranging, cleaning, shopping, getting to know the area. The weather could have been warmer, but we had a lot of inside work to do. Here are some highlights of the weekend:

1. Wildlife: Bald eagle, coyote, porcupine, muskrat, loons. If roadkill counted in this category, there would have been a few more on the list.

2. Pontoon boat: We are proud owners of the pontoon that came with the cabin. Curt and I took turns driving and landing the pontoon boat. Neither of us has ever driven, much less owned, a boat before. We figured we would practice while no one else was watching.

3. Queen size bed: Learning to sleep with Curt in a queen size bed on weekends is going to be tricky. We've got a king at home. Cozy is nice, but give us some limb room.

4. Gayest thing that came out of my mouth all weekend: "We REALLY need dust ruffles."

5. "Celebrity" encounter: Jeff Passolt from channel 9 news was at the marine store in Minong behind us in line. He owns on the lake next to us. Seems to be a nice guy. Curt and I decided he was pretty hot. He was shorter than expected and has that giant melon that is so typical of news anchors, but hot for a guy who's probably 50 or so.

6. Up North T-Shirts: We couldn't not buy them. They were at the gift shop in Minong. Here is mine:

Here is Curt's:

7. Kayak: I am so glad I bought the kayak. We each took it out for a run this morning. It was about 45 degrees, but I was hell bent on getting in the kayak. I'm going to love this. I picture myself on warmer mornings filling a travel mug with coffee, popping it in the drink holder and taking off across the lake and back. Aaaaaaah. Relaxing. Here is Curt in the kayak

Now all we need up north is you! Come for a visit!

Suburban Wildlife

This is Mr. & Mrs. Mallard who have taken a shine to our tiny little back yard pond. Sometimes they are out there swimming around at 6 a.m. Other days they show up around 7 p.m. and swim around and preen until the dogs chase them out. We don't mind as long as they don't try to lay eggs in the yard. That would be foolish. They don't strike me as particularly bright, but I love the duckies anyway.

She's a Blur

25 lbs of floppy happiness running at full tilt. Dogs are an absolute joy.

Today's Birdies

This morning I decided it was pretty enough for me to venture outside with my camera to try to capture images of birdies at the feeders. I set up my blind on the deck. Okay, it wasn't a blind. It was me sitting on the deck between two patio chairs, but I felt a little like Marlin Perkins. So, it was a blind, okay. Anyway, here are the birdies that I was actually able catch on film:

This little fellow is a Downy Woodpecker. We've named all our Downy Woodpeckers Robert or Roberta.

This is a little American Goldfinch. He is in mid-molt. The American Goldfinch is the only finch that molts twice: once in the autumn to turn brown for winter and once in the spring to turn yellow (males) or olive (females) for summer.

I think this is a Pine Siskin. He jumped into the deck mounted bird bath about three feet from my head. Cute little thing he is.

This American Robin stopped for a drink at the pond. He/she was singing in a nearby tree for about a half hour before coming coming down for a drink. Robins have a gorgeous song. I heart robins.
Say hello again to my little friend. This is the male Pileated Woodpecker that visited us on Friday. Pretty, pretty. Curt and I ooohed and aaahed again. We'll never get tired of this bird. So cool to see a woodpecker as big as a crow.

WOODPECKERS EVERYWHERE!!!

HOLY CRAP! TODAY IS THE BEST DAY EVER! I'M YELLING! I'M SORRY! I CAN'T HELP IT! WHY AM I YELLING? BECAUSE THE PILEATED WOODPECKER SHOWED UP AGAIN AND HE BROUGHT HIS WIFE!!! TWO PILEATEDS IN ONE FRICKIN' DAY!! OH MY GOD!

HERE IS MR. WOODPECKER:

HERE IS HIS WIFE: (NOTE THAT SHE DOESN'T HAVE RED ON HER CHEEKS)

Okay. I can die happy now.

Thank Heavens The Blade Wasn't Running

A few observations about this delightful news story out of Hutchinson MN:

1. Of course he pulled in to a trailer park.
2. You've got to be pretty damn drunk to hit traffic cones on a riding mower. You just can't go that fast.
3. Whoever wrote "public display of bladder relief" should either get a trophy or be flogged. I can't decide.
4. He must have grown up in Wisconsin. We just don't grow them like this over here.

Charges: Drunken mower rider buys beer, resumes wild ride
A 42-year-old man is accused of being drunk while driving his riding lawn mower to a SuperAmerica in Hutchinson, Minn., buying beer and then zigzagging along city streets on a ride that included a public display of bladder relief.
Darwin L. Christensen, of Hutchinson, was charged today in McLeod County District Court with drunken driving and urinating in public. A breath test indicated that his blood alcohol level was .21 percent, far above the limit used to determine drunkenness in DWI cases.
Christensen is no stranger to overdrinking and operating a motor vehicle. State records show he has pleaded guilty at least four times, twice each in 1986 and 1996, to drunken driving. His rap sheet also includes convictions for disorderly conduct, fleeing a police officer, felony property damage and felony burglary.
According to the criminal complaint:
Police received a report at about 6:20 p.m. Thursday of a suspected intoxicated man driving a lawn mower. The witness reported seeing the man buy beer at a SuperAmerica, then head north on School Road on the mower.
The man was seen running over two orange cones on the road, swerving within his lane and changing speeds.
After turning onto N. High Drive, he stopped, got off the mower and urinated on the side of the road while throwing a beer can into the ditch.
He then resumed his mower travels into a mobile home park.
Police approached Christensen outside, and noticed the smell of alcohol on his breath, stumbling and slurring his speech. He admitted that he had just been at the store with his mower and had urinated in public.

How Could Today Get Any Better?

So, I just finished posting pictures of the new cabin to the blog when I looked out to the bird feeders. What, oh what, did I see? Just the bird I have been waiting all winter long to catch a glimpse of at our feeders. Yes, it's true. I had a Pileated Woodpecker at the feeder log! WOOO HOOOOOO! I should just go back to bed, because I can't think of much that could top this today. Maybe I should buy lottery tickets. Oh, and I caught a picture of him, too. It isn't the best photo, but you'll get the idea.

So Excited I'm Running Around With Jazz Hands

Curt and I have taken the plunge and are purchasing a cute little cabin about 2 1/2 hours away in northwest Wisconsin. Real estate prices have come down to a point where even the two of us felt we couldn't pass up the opportunity to override our cheap Scandinavian sensibilities and make an investment that we will also enjoy. We are excited to the point that we're going to bed talking about the cabin and waking up talking about the cabin. And when no one is looking I erupt into jazz hands. Wooooo! So, here are some pictures that I took at the inspection yesterday.
This is a view from just outside the front door looking east. The lake is basically a big bowl of sand filled with water. I'm told the water stays crystal clear all summer and weediness isn't much of a problem here. Get out your thongs! We're going swimming!

This is the front side of the cabin. It is an old 30's fishing cabin. So, naturally, it is small and quirky and cute. The current owner has lived there for 23 years. He's in his 80's now and is moving to a town nearby. It is so clear from the condition of the place that he has loved, loved, loved the place.

This is the back side of the cabin. In 2002, the owner added this two car heated garage with a 13 x 25 ft sleeping loft with a 3/4 bath on top. This is a sweet feature for us. Lots of storage and it is connected directly to the rest of the cabin.

This is what you see when you sit on the sofa in the living room. This view doesn't suck at all. I suspect the sofa will have a permanent giant ass indentation from my over use of the view.

This is the old pontoon boat that is included in the deal. Sweet. It is about 30 years old and not pimped out like the modern pontooons, but it floats and that is all that matters. Oh, and get this- the owner called the real estate agent while we were there and asked her "Do you think the boys who are buying the place would like it if I set up the dock and got the pontoon in before closing?" How sweet is that and, uh, YES! We would love that!

This is one end of the sleeping loft. I love it up there. The door goes out to a small balcony overlooking the driveway.

This is the view from the sleeping loft. This view doesn't suck either. Sweet!

This is the cutie pie little kitchen. It is tiny, but so clean and well preserved that it adds to the charm of the place. Who needs a big gourmet kitchen at the lake anyway, right?

This is a pair of male mallards that I caught flying across the lake. Two boys together. It was a sign.

All are welcome. So, when are you all coming up??

Divorced White Female, Eats Children...

I hit a good number of estate sales here in west metro. I rarely buy anything. Mostly, I'm just nosey and curious about an occasional bargain. This weekend, while scanning the online estate sale ads, I came across the picture below. I didn't go to this sale because, frankly, I would have been scared shitless. So, my friends, put on your FBI profiler hat and give me a personality profile of the serial killer that lives here: UPDATE:

Here is the bedroom. Not as offensive until you look at the pillow with the two faces. Also, what is the business of hanging gold rimmed mirrors at the top of the wall. She did it in the living room too.