Tuesday, September 21, 2010

At the end of a grumpy day..

... I can always find something else to complain about.  Today, it is affected speech carried out by born and bred Midwesterners.  No, not speech impediments - lisps, stutters, or southern drawls.  These are the affectations one adopts into their speech because you think they are nifty and make you sound smart, cool or worldly.  Doing so, however, just makes you annoying to listen to.  It is on par with the college sophomore who comes back from studying in England and asks what the American word for "the tube" is.  Annoying.  So, on with the grumpitude:

Affectation #1:
How do you say the word "false"?  If you tell me it sounds like the word "waltz", you're an affected mess. Someone very high up in the organization I work for uses this one all the time and I want to throw a coffee cup at him every time he says it.  True?  Yes. Faltz?  Not so much.

Affectation #2:
What is something that comes before something else?  Is it a "prelude"? Perhaps, it is if you pronounce it like something in the neighborhood of "prey-lood".  No where in the Midwest do we use the alternate pronunciation of "prell-ewed".  Jesus, make it stop.

Affectation #3:
If you are from Bumfudge, Wisconsin and you pronounce the word rather as "rah-ther" or worse "rahth-er"  I will smack you if you come within arms reach.  Just a warning.  Cut it out now.

Affectation #4:
I know Canadians are cute, but in Iowa there isn't a school teacher in the state that taught you to say the letter Z as "zed."  Just never happened.

Perhaps one day, I'll blog about something important, but I don't see that coming in the next few weeks.  Oh, and one more thing-  the name of the town with the Mayo Clinic it Rochester-  Rah-chester.  Not Rod-chester.  And the name of the suburb east of St. Paul is Woodbury-  Wood-burry.  Not Wood-berry spoken with a sing-song Minnesota accent.  Good god, I need some sleep and an attitude adjustment.  'Night all.


kirelimel said...

Rochester, Minnesota,
Thats my home town...
where the bells are full of ringing and the hearts are full of singing for the holidays...
When we gather round together
Never minding winter weather
There's no place that I would rather be
Rochester, Minnesota
That's my home town
Rochester, Rochester,
My home town...

BentonQuest said...

Now the only exception I would take is "prell-ewed." In the chuch, I find that to be the accepted pronunciation. Might be that many church musicians are college educated and all hoity-toity. ;-)

Mnmom said...

Oh honey can we talk?

Dear twenty somethings and younger generations: quit ending all your sentences in questions? And scooping the last word? Because it's really annoying? And I'm going to smack you if you don't stop?

I'm going to start carrying a heavy hammer with me and hitting them in the forehead for every superfluous "like".

michaelg said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
michaelg said...

Funny you should mention that Wayne. The first place I heard that aberration of speech was in the music department at Luther College. Coinkydink? I think not.

michaelg said...

You are Wayne, aren't you BentonQuest?

Little Sister said...

Often is NOT OFF-TEN. Height ends with a hard T like weight - not a TH like width and depth.
Those are just two of mine.