Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Monday, February 25, 2008
In January 1990, I had just broken up with a boyfriend and was feeling quite low. Instead of sitting on my bum, moping around, I decided to invite a group of friends over to help me celebrate my 24th birthday. I could have been bitter and focused on my break up, but I decided to focus on makeup. The theme of the party was Making Up Is Hard to Do. So to create my low budget invites, I hopped into a photo booth at Calhoun Square with some makeup and Lee press-on nails and produced these. Frightening, no?
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Fatima is from Somalia and thinks she looks like Iman. Oh no she doesn't. She also immediately took on all the other black girls and called them all ghetto- not the friendly, cool ghetto, but the "I hate your ghetto ass" ghetto. In my white, middle-aged, gay suburban opinion, some of them were a little ghetto, but not so much that I would have had to point it out. So far, Fatima is a bit of a beee-yotch.
So in the very next scene, she goes before the casting panel and puts on a big fat weep fest at meeting Tyra Banks. Then she tells the panel that in Somalia at age 7 she underwent female circumcision. Okay, Fatima, just suck all the fun right out of the room. Kidding. I've read a lot about female genital mutilation and it is horrifying. That said, I think Fatima was working it a little. Just saying.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Monday, February 18, 2008
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Saturday, February 16, 2008
So anyway, we come home from work yesterday, I settle in to read e-mails while Curt is in the kitchen. Suddenly, I hear something so terrifying issuing forth from Curt that I think it might be a deranged request for euthanasia. He must have seen something in the fridge that set this off. Here, my friends, is the song he was singing loudly with "la" as the only word, that then got stuck in my head until we started watching our movie. Sadly, I woke up with it stuck in my head. This truly sucks. Don't hurt me.
Friday, February 15, 2008
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
1. A lumpectomy she had at age 19 and the appearance of the fibrous tumor the size of a golfball that the doctor removed.
2. Embarrassing medical exams
3. Having a girlfriend's husband as the anaesthesiologist during a hoo-hoo surgery
5. Removing six feet of gauze from her brother's post surgical cyst on his tailbone
6. Squeezing sebaceous cysts
7. Poop snakes at the Fairmont mall
All this while eating. C is very well educated, highly articulate, wildly talented, and well read. But, there's something about leaving the stress of office behind that apparently brings out the disgusting side in both of us. I knew the potential for this was there before I hired her. It wasn't why I hired her, but it didn't hurt.
Friday, February 8, 2008
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Sunday, February 3, 2008
Did anyone see any outstanding commercials? The only one I liked, and I can't remember the car they were selling or maybe it was tires, was the one in which a driver was out at night, swerves to avoid hitting a deer, then swerves to avoid hitting Alice Cooper snake handling in the middle of the road, then sees Richard Simmons in the road sweatin' to the oldies, speeds up momentarily then thinks better of it and narrowly avoids hitting him. Made me smile.
The massage was another story all together. When I scheduled the appointment, I asked for a good deep tissue therapist, but got Joanna instead. Joanna not only was making it up as she went, she talked and talked and talked and talked and talked and talked and talked. It didn't matter that I just quit responding or that I indicated I would really just like to relax and not say much. Typically, I'm much more direct, but she indicated very early on that after 30 years of bad jobs she had now found her true calling and was doing her dream job, and I just couldn't find the courage to say "Excuse me, but could you shut your pie hole?" I know every job she's had, how old her kids are, what they're doing, every town they've lived in AND why she became a massage therapist. Why, you ask? To meet all kinds of nice people. Actually, Joanna, you, in particular, don't really meet people. They meet you.
After my massage, I went to the place where all your troubles just melt away- Super Target- and now I'm all better. The end.
Anyway, after a rough night of sleep, I hooked up with MNMom and her 14 year old twins Jean and Marie at Southdale Mall. We did girly things like shop for makeup. Jean got a makeover, but didn't look nearly as trashy as I wanted her to look. She looked very classy and understated, and above all, age appropriate, which flew in the face of my trailer park instincts. Some day there will be blue eyeshadow and cherry red lipstick. It just wasn't yesterday. I went to the Origins counter and bought a skin care set from the Plantidote Mega-Mushroom line. I love this stuff- smaller pores, less puffiness, less redness. It doesn't enhance my inner beauty, but that's not what matters, right? (hee hee)
We took a break from vanity to head to Midori's Floating World, my favorite sushi spot. Thankfully it wasn't very busy, because Midori is the only sushi chef in the place and is very zen about her work. Now, I've always liked Margaret's twins because they have opinions and they like stinky cheese. Yesterday, I added another reason to love them- they can put away sushi with the best of them. For the four of us, we ordered 7 rolls, 16 nigiri and a lovely flower of salmon sashimi. Speaking of lovely and delicate flowers, our saucy waiter Ian took the above picture with the second round of sushi. But, first he had to have his picture taken. I ask you, which flower below is more delicate?
After Midori's, we went back to Southdale for more shopping fun. Jean and I went to the beauty parlor and got haricuts. She got a cute blond bob. I got a short messy looking do. We then sat down for coffee and horrified the girls with 80's fashion talk. MNMom described her leotard, shiny lycra tights and legwarmers for aerobics classes, while I described my mint green loose knit cotton sweater with matching mint green slouch socks. As Mindy would say, "HAWT!" When the gals were sufficiently horrified, we shopped for shoes and housewares and parted company. The perfect Saturday.
But wait! There's more. Curt and I had reservations at Kincaid's to celebrate my birthday. We ordered the world's best calamari (has asian five spice, red peppers and a hot plum sauce), a thai inspired peanut-veggie-noodle salad, and each had a 10oz filet mignon which was to die for. Now, it is worth noting that everywhere we go, Curt knows somebody. Even out of state and out of country. It is wierd. Anyway, Curt said hi in the lobby to one of the waiters he knew from his days in the late 80's as a waiter. So, just after our appetizer, this waiter stops buy and asks us if we have any coupons. We said no and he proceeded to drop a buy one entree get one entree free coupon on our table. Instantly, my $36 filet was free! My birthday AND cheap? How could it get any better? It did. Our cute waiter brought over a big portion of the ultimate signature gay dessert- creme brulee- with a little candle in it for my birthday. Tasty.
So there you have the perfect Saturday. Today, I embark on the perfect winter Sunday, with a facial at 10 and a massage at 11. Hooray!
Saturday, February 2, 2008
So, to remedy the situation, MNMom and her twins are meeting me in about an hour for lunch and some texting education. I'll let you know how it goes. TTFN my BFFs.
Friday, February 1, 2008
Four jobs I have had in my life
1. Bowling alley attendant
2. Bankruptcy servicing for defaulted student loans
3. Production control analyst
4. Business management analyst
Four movies I would watch over and over:
1. Muriel's Wedding
2. Love Actually
4. Any of the Harry Potter movies
Four places I have lived:
1. Decorah, Iowa
2. Iowa City, Iowa
3. Minneapolis, Minnesota
4. Golden Valley, Minnesota (10 miles from #3)
Four TV Shows that I watch:
1. America's Next Top Model
2. Top Chef
3. Project Runway
4. Kathy Griffin- My Life on the D List
Four Places I have been:
1. Puerto Vallarta, Mexico
2. Puerto Rico
4. Costa Rica
Four of my favorite foods:
1. High quality sushi
2. Bacon Cheeseburger pizza from Godfathers
3. Anything at Kincaid's
4. Tie between DIll Pickle chips and Salt & Vinegar chips
Four places I would rather be right now:
1. Reading in bed
2. At our timeshare in Puerto Vallarta with Curt
3. Collecting my Powerball lottery winnings
4. Getting my hands dirty in our garden
Four things I am looking forward to this year:
1. A democrat getting elected president (if not a dem, I could tolerate McCain)
2. Al Franken crushing Norm Coleman
3. Actually using the chaise lounges on our patio
4. Spending more time with friends