Friday, April 10, 2009

Thank Heavens The Blade Wasn't Running

A few observations about this delightful news story out of Hutchinson MN:

1. Of course he pulled in to a trailer park.
2. You've got to be pretty damn drunk to hit traffic cones on a riding mower. You just can't go that fast.
3. Whoever wrote "public display of bladder relief" should either get a trophy or be flogged. I can't decide.
4. He must have grown up in Wisconsin. We just don't grow them like this over here.

Charges: Drunken mower rider buys beer, resumes wild ride
A 42-year-old man is accused of being drunk while driving his riding lawn mower to a SuperAmerica in Hutchinson, Minn., buying beer and then zigzagging along city streets on a ride that included a public display of bladder relief.
Darwin L. Christensen, of Hutchinson, was charged today in McLeod County District Court with drunken driving and urinating in public. A breath test indicated that his blood alcohol level was .21 percent, far above the limit used to determine drunkenness in DWI cases.
Christensen is no stranger to overdrinking and operating a motor vehicle. State records show he has pleaded guilty at least four times, twice each in 1986 and 1996, to drunken driving. His rap sheet also includes convictions for disorderly conduct, fleeing a police officer, felony property damage and felony burglary.
According to the criminal complaint:
Police received a report at about 6:20 p.m. Thursday of a suspected intoxicated man driving a lawn mower. The witness reported seeing the man buy beer at a SuperAmerica, then head north on School Road on the mower.
The man was seen running over two orange cones on the road, swerving within his lane and changing speeds.
After turning onto N. High Drive, he stopped, got off the mower and urinated on the side of the road while throwing a beer can into the ditch.
He then resumed his mower travels into a mobile home park.
Police approached Christensen outside, and noticed the smell of alcohol on his breath, stumbling and slurring his speech. He admitted that he had just been at the store with his mower and had urinated in public.


Mnmom said...

Not in Wisconsin??? How can it be? This has Wisconsin written all over it. Perhaps because it didn't involve sex with a dead animal.

michaelg said...

My guess would be a dead deer somewhere in his trailer.