Sunday, July 19, 2009

Cabin Pride

I know there are a lot of uber conservative freaks out there who think they have an idea of what the gays do when they get together- most of which is their fantasy, not ours. So, for my gentle readers, I have documented what utter depravity can happen when about 40 or so gay men and two very patient lesbians get together in the north woods of Wisconsin for Cabin Pride. On with the sickness and depravity:

These two are our friends Peter and Duane, co-hosts of the Cabin Pride festivities. Curt and I have known them for about 10 years. Wonderful guys who love dogs and have a cabin about 25 minutes from our own. Here is how the day went:

10:00 A.M.: Brunch at Peter & Duane's neighbors, Doug and Bill. Of course we had brunch. The gays invented brunch and we are proud of it.

11:00 A.M.: Parade!! Yes, we love a parade. This one was small but had many elements of bigger more populated parades. Here are some highlights.Every gay parade must start with a dyke on bike. This was no exception. This was Nell, of Nell & Laurie who live up the road from Doug & Bill. They are the sweetest things you could ever meet. She and Laurie have had a cabin in the woods for over 20 years. We're going to take them out bar hopping in Minong some evening. We might get in early that night as there are three bars in town, four if you count Grandma Links, which is like Perkins with beer.

Flag corps!! Fabulous! They spent several minutes before the parade started practicing their choreography and it showed. What they lacked in precision, they made up for in enthusiasm.
At the end of the cul de sac, they gave us some thrilling moves set to music. It consisted mostly of one guy barking out commands like "Circle! Flags up! Flags down! Maypole! Maypole!" and the others obeying. It was fun and lovely.
Every gay parade must have royalty. This was Ruby, Queen of the Bogs, from Stone Lake, WI, home of Cranberry Festival. She threw craisins instead of candy.
What Wisconsin event would be complete without a meat raffle? This gentleman was advertising for the event that would happen later in the day.
Here is the one and only float titled "Wisconsin Bait & Ballet." I'm not sure how the two go together, but it was a pretty float. The crowd went wild.
After several years of this, the straight neighbors had to join in. These are the token heterosexuals blowing kisses to the crowd.
12:00: GAMES!!If there are children watching, this would be the point where you might want to turn their little eyes away, because things get really out there and sick at this point. In this game, one partner had to put a plastic cup on his head, while the other partner had to blow a pink marshmallow out a tube with the objective of knocking the glass off the other's head. And they did this right out before God and everyone! Can you imagine?
Next was the water balloon toss. Here is Curt catching a water balloon. I had to use the sports setting on my camera to capture the fast paced action.

Here are more water balloon catchers.
2:00: Floating in the lake. CANCELLED due to crappy, cold weather. Instead, most of the crowd descended on a bar called the Crow Bar that is about 5 miles from anywhere on a highway somewhere in Wisconsin.
I was a little wary about 40 gay men just dropping in to take over their volley ball court and bar. But, you know what? Not one person in that bar deep in rural Wisconsin even flinched when we showed up, even the big guys with their mean looking girlfriends. The bartender even brought out two free rounds of frozen pudding shots for the crowd. And of course, the gays loved the place because mixed drinks were only $2 for regular liquor and $2.50 for top shelf liquor.
The bar even provided us with Polish horseshoes. I like that bar.
4:00: Meat raffle!!
The meat raffle was held back at Peter and Duane's place. It was basically meat bingo, but we let them call it a raffle anyway. Of course, the crowd went wild every single time O-69 was called. It's a tradition I guess.
After the meat raffle, was a fantastic dinner put together by Peter & Duane, followed by karaoke and dancing. Curt and I skipped out after dinner to go take care of the dogs. All in all a very satisfying day with very kind, fun people. How sick and twisted is that?


kirelimel said...

Awful, just awful...FUN THAT IS!!! that was great! If I'm very good in this life, can I come back as a gay man in the woods of Wisconsin?

Madame Leiderhosen said...

Oh, I love it. Sounds like big big big fun. I second KL desire to come back as a gay Wisconsin man.

Amy said...

One correction.... The Cranberry Festival is actually in Warrens WI... really. But maybe there are 2?

Once again, nicely done MG! You have missed your calling... hee hee.

Nothing finer than the Northwoods of WI.

Little Sister said...

MG-I am laughing so hard. The float reminded me of Priscilla-Queen of the Desert. LOVE LOVE LOVE this parade and all the magic of fun. What a great day.

themom said...

I truly LOVED this entire post. I'm sure you have dispelled some of the antiquated thinking of a few people. And everyone involved appears to have had a super great time also.

Mnmom said...

On behalf of all hetereosexual couples, I'm just appalled you would have all that gay fun. Don't you know that will tear apart my marriage and get my kids to start taking drugs and watching porn? Seriously, that flag corps and all that hilarity and friendliness is just downright dangerous to the moral character of all Americans! What's next? Gay marriage in Iowa? OH GOD - TOO LATE!!!!!

Cheesecake Maven said...

Looked like a grand time! I agree with Sister J, that float was FUN!!!