Sunday, July 12, 2009

I Love a Parade

It was a little too chilly to swim at the lake this weekend. So, Curt and I thought we might take in the Spooner Rodeo Days parade. Yee haw! Here are the "highlights." If you find no highlights, well, don't be surprised. Neither did we. But we did get a lot of candy thrown at us after looking sad and holding out our hands. Fun.
The parade started with lots and lots of horses. It was Rodeo Days after all. Lots of poop and a little pee and these dazzling chaps.
A huge military display followed the horses. Family friendly parade my ass!

Amery, WI has the laziest bunch of royalty ever. They couldn't even lift their elbows to wave. They may as well have been passed out in a pile of Schlitz cans and cigarette butts on that float. Boooo. At least they dressed up.

Bad ass with Fez. Apparently Shriners have left behind their little cars for a dancing scooters. They did some nice formations, but it just wasn't as fun as little cars. I'm guessing as the Shriners age it is harder to get in and out of the little cars. Next year, electric wheelchairs.
Did you see the pictures of this guy that I posted at my bird feeders earlier this year. Cool.

Huh. How was this pageant judged? SIZE PERHAPS??? That is wrong. Wrong.
Again, the fat girl got second runner up. Hmpf.
If I have to walk one more step in this god forsaken moose costume, I'll.....
Sadly, only two marching bands showed up for the parade. The hometown band sort of bit the bag. This one was much better. I love percussion sections.
This "royalty" float, celebrating white trash obviously, was a little funny. Why? Because the two crown losers, I mean runners up, at the front were doing this staged "seig heil" sort of wave really fast and the queen at the back of the float was saying "You're waving too fast! Too fast!" The losers laughed and waved faster. They hated their queen.
These sad sacks showed up in the the middle of all the merriment with the downer signs and an even worse singer being pulled on a garden cart singing some maudlin tune. The whole crowd rolled their eyes, dug in their purses, went to get beverages, except for one lady across the street who started clapping loudly. As you know, I'm fine with expressing one's beliefs, but pick the right place and time. Merriment is not the right time for this message. And what does that sign mean anyway? That you were desperate for a rhyme?
This was a pretty cow. I like cows.
We were two blocks in on the parade route and already these kids carried the unmistakable expressions that said "I'm booooooored. I'm hooooooooott. I'm tiiiiiired." Kid, you wanted to be in the damn parade, so shape up. Smile. Get with the program or I'll take the car aerial after you.
FINALLY, the judges got it right. Hefty royalty! HOLLA!!

This large princess was second runner up but looked like more fun than any of them combined. She was having a good old time on the float. Next year. Next year.
And that about sums up the parade. Not really exciting but I'm glad we went.


Amy said...

You're commentary was way better than the parade. Who needs to go see it when you have MG taking photos and giving a summary. Look out Macy's Thanksgiving Parade... Here comes MG to take your jobs!

Cheesecake Maven said...

Hey, is your new cabin near Amery?? We go to a friend's cabin on Bone Lake, near Luck. We'll be up there August 12-16 sometime, will you?

Mnmom said...

Hilarious!!! Wish I had been there with you, but I'll have to accept just waking you up at 10pm. All parades are a tribute to white trash culture. You'll have to come down to Defeat of Jesse James Days for a Loooonnnnggggg tribute!!

Little Sister said...

I will have an air conditioned view of the Nordic Fest Parade-maybe you could do a live feed for all our out-of-town friends...

Amy said...

Ruth, great idea....

Katie Abanson said...

Delurking again to say how much I enjoyed your commentary!

(Also, as a former Miss [my hometown], I can tell you that Amery was the only royalty with proper waving form. "A lady never shows her armpit to the crowd." Also, would it have killed all of those girls to actually do their hair? Hot rollers, bobby pins, and some aerosol hair spray - that's the ticket.)

suzieQ said...

I must say that one of the best parades I've seen was at Cran Fest in Warrens, WI. MANY marching bands of all ages (apparently this parade is know for the number of bands that paticipate). It was just plain fun to watch and you couldn't help but clap your hands and tap your foot. If you like craft/art and you've not attended Cran Fest, one should really experience it. Massive numbers of vendors and visitors. Anything from "cross stitched" Kleenex box covers (which I DETEST) to beautful works of art done in iron/steel.