Thursday, August 12, 2010

I Return With Pointless Rambling

After much whining and carrying on by MNMom, I am going to try to blog a little more than I have been. That is, if I can get out of work before 7:00 at night, which has been a problem lately. The other "problem" is that my old college chum Paul is such a f*cking amazing writer/blogger that I feel shame at my poorly constructed sentences and limited vocabulary. Okay, that last part was just a poor excuse that I'm guessing made Paul momentarily place blame upon himself, which is in his nature and that I have fun exploiting since we have reconnected after 25+ years. I bet he regrets that decision about now.

So, here's a little list of three things I want to go away just to get things rolling:

1. Flip flops: These are the lowest form of shoe. I am not a connoisseur of fine footwear. No. But, I'll be damned if these shoes don't stick in my craw every time I see them. The only good thing about them is that some people from my generation and slightly older still call them thongs and you know my affection for all things thong. I think the thing is that everyone wearing them looks like they are heading in to the shower and nobody wants to imagine that, unless it is Hugh Jackman. They might just as well wear a towel with those sloppy looking shoes. Feh. Oh, and pay attention to the number of people that trip over those god awful things in front of you while simply walking in a straight line. Which leads me to my second list item...

2. Drunk girls: Drunk girls are the ones that fall all over their damn thongs in front of me and they seem to be everywhere. Take for instance, the 4th of July fireworks in Gordon, WI. On the way, slightly drunk girls were everywhere tripping over the toes of their flip flops right in front of me. On the way back, the same now drunker girls, hopped up on patriotism as well, are weaving around, being loud and tripping on eachothers flip flops and laughing and falling and generally snarling up foot traffic. I made the mistake once of asking a fallen drunk girl if she was okay and she said the one thing that leads me to my third list item...

3. The sound "WOOOOOO": Me: Can I help you up? Are you okay? Drunk girl: (pause) WOOOOOO!! My question is, when did "WOOOOOO" become the international noise of fun? Point a camera at a group of two or more people at a party, on the Great Wall or helping at an accident site and what do they all say? Of course, "WOOOOOOO!" Drunk girls are the masters of this sound and substitute it for reasonable conversation at every turn. Ask them their name. "WOOOOOO!" Ask them how they've been. "WOOOOOO!" Inquire about their dying grandmother. "WOOOOO!" After which they will pause, cry, make a pass at you and throw up on your shoes.

Okay, enough for now. Feel better, Margaret?


kirelimel said...

HEY!! I left you some nasty emails too! Where's my thanks?! And I let you leave a nasty comment on my blog too.

Mnmom said...

We shall see my friend, we shall see.

Wooooooo! And yes I still call them thongs.

michaelg said...

Yes, you did your fair share of kvetching too.
That wasn't a nasty comment because it was straight out of the book, but it was a little descriptive, wasn't it?