1. 1 butchered pig = 40 lbs of ham, 20 lbs of bacon, 18 lbs of bratwurst and various poundages of ribs, roasts, hocks, etc. all equaling 221 lbs of freezer cramming pork. Oh, and lest I forget, the pork came with liver, tongue and heart. That makes me sad.
2. I will never understand the infinite patience of good parents. If I were a single mother, I would be the one you see in the grocery store smoking a Marlboro in a tube top, cut-offs and flip flops, filling my cart with Ho-Hos and Sunny Delight, talking on my bedazzled cell phone and screaming at my three children- all under five years old- to grow up. (You are a saint, RJ)
3. If you show up at the right time at the Cheesecake Maven's house, she will, in fact, let you lick the cheesecake batter off the beater and scrape the bowl of not one, but two big kitchen aid mixers. (Department of Health- I am certain that she boils the stuff afterwards and soaks them overnight in bleach.)
4. There really is no limit to the amount of Mabe's Pizza I can eat in one sitting. It is embarrassing really.
5. Have low expectations of table service in small town Iowa. For example, here is our conversation with our "waitress" at Mabe's Pizza (see #4 above)-
Me: Let's start with an appetizer of buffalo wings.
RJ: Are the buffalo wings really spicy?
Waitress: I wouldn't know. I don't touch the things.
Me: Okay. We'll take them anyway.
6. RJ will still laugh at me when I unintentionally say really gay things like "Oh gosh. Make sure I remember to call Curt to see if the window dressings got put in this morning."
7. Technical difficulties really put me in a funk. I gave RJ my old computer, and it would only work with the monitor in windows safe mode. Hhhmmmppffff!!! I had to call our friend SJ, who is a bigger computer nerd than I am, to come to the rescue. (Did you figure it out??)
8. Gardening just 150 miles south of lovely Golden Valley really does start about two weeks earlier and ends two weeks later. Makes me nutty. RJ's and Cheesecake Maven's gardens were already looking great. Green envy.