I Love A Parade: Cranberry Festival

This weekend, we had Curt's mom and step dad and our friend Marina up to the cabin. Why? Cranberry Festival in Stone Lake. Why not? As you know, I love a parade, especially a small town festival's parade. The whole festival took place in a town that has about 500 residents. Saturday, the population was about 15,000. This festival was nice, because it felt local and home grown. On a bog tour, we got a brief history of the Cranberry Festival parade. I guess it started 30+ years ago when four local women "sitting around their kitchen table" (here you should read, drinking too much) went outside and started a four person parade and encouraged everyone to join in. Hmmm.

So, every parade needs grand marshalls. I think everyone in this town will eventually get to be grand marshall at some point. I didn't catch their names because I was distracted by the sparkly car decoration.

Check out the flaming grill on this fire vehicle. Fancy.

These were the Senior Center King and Queen. The queen was hanging out her window waving vigorously. The old guy sat back, less enthused, and was probably thinking about the shitty food they're serving at the old folks home and wondering if he can make a break for the pork chop on a stick stand.

King Tot and his Cranberry Court. Remember these kids from the Spooner Rodeo Days parade where they looked all hot and miserable? They were a little more enthusiastic this time. Someone must have read them my blog comments from their last appearance. See that little girl in the red robe on the right? I later saw her drinking water from a frisbee like a dog. Love her.

MAN OF THE YEAR!! MAN OF THE YEAR!! Tom McDonnell. Do you know him? Me either. Nice car though.

This is one of the three marching bands. Three is a pretty darn good turn out in this economy when schools are selling children into the sex trade for football uniforms. Or at least that's the rumor in Glenn Beck circles.

Okay. Let me ask you this. Would you want to be forever known as a Musky Queen? I've met some rather musky queens in my day and it is not a title I would want to be saddled with. However, I have to give them credit, because, unlike all the sad sack queens in the Spooner Rodeo Days Parade, these queens were having a great time.

Here is another queen having a great time in a dress that completely clashes with her float. Good job pushing through that fashion mishap, I say.

Yet another marching band. I love it when the percussion sections go by. I loved that when I was a kid, too. It was like I could feel the vibrations throughout my body.

One of these cub scouts hasn't earned his posture badge yet. Can you guess which one? So, this little display of scoutiness was nice, but look at the atrocity that followed behind them (see below):

This old thing! He wasn't fooling anyone in that dusty rose neckerchief. One day the scout master is going to figure out that this guy isn't the 10 year old he's pretending to be and then all hell is sure to break loose.

And still yet, another marching band. We love the marching bands.

These old gals fall squarely in the category of "Fun at a Party." Perhaps a little too fun. We figured that the pink ladies were like the Red Hat Society only with lots and lots of liquor. Maybe a little weed too.

This is more like it. While the Spooner Rodeo Days Parade had their own version of politics, Cranberry Festival had politics more to my liking. And who doesn't like likeable politics?

Here is the Singing Cranberry. He serenaded us with songs like "Ain't I Tart?" and other catchy numbers. He was a real highlight of the parade for me, until you see what's coming up later.

Recognize these gals from Spooner? They didn't even bother to dress up, but they sure waved a lot better than last time. Again, someone must have read them my last blog post. I guess I'm performing a public service here?

Don't bother to analyze this, but this was the highlight of the parade for me. I loved, loved, loved it. It was completely unpretentious and homespun and it made me smile when it drove by. A horse tank, riding lawn mower and an outdoor umbrella. I guess I am easy to please.

This was a great float from a plumbing company. The guys were sitting on toilets with their pants down around their ankles throwing candy over the top. The woman standing next to me was a complete stranger, but I dared her to go see what the boys were wearing under the stall door. So, there she is checking out the boys. I've never seen a woman with a cane run so fast. Larry Craig would have been proud of her technique. She was a gem.

Here's the cutest candy tosser in the parade. Funny thing though- she was not letting go of that candy.

All in all a great parade and a fun day. The soap box derby followed the parade. We got to see 10 year old Megan in her lavender car kicking the boys' butts down a big hill. Cool.

Here's A Bone. Poor Blog.

Well, my poor, neglected blog called me up whining for some attention. I've been either too busy to write anything or afraid I might truly offend some thinking conservatives while taking down their ignoramus "death panel" friends a notch. More on that to come, rest assured. Today, however, I serve up a mish mash of randomness that is floating around in my giant Scandinavian cabbage head this a.m.

1. Speaking of thinking conservatives, I sit next to one at work. We disagree on just about everything imaginable. Her hot topic is being pro-life. I am pro-choice. But, can we find common ground in our opposing views? Absolutely. She is VERY religious. I am not. But, do we find some common ground in our values on which to base our conversations and a personal connections? Yes. What is the difference here between this dear woman and the loud mouth idiots featured so prominently on the news? She is interested in and respects the opinions of others while maintaining steadfastly to her own. She respects all people and seeks to find that place where reasonable conversations can be held. She, rather than claiming to be Christian and behaving like a boob, is a Christian with values that are in line with the teachings of Jesus (yes, boobs, that is what you're supposed to be doing- LOVING not hating and dividing) and she recognizes the hypocrisy of of the aforementioned others. That's enough on that topic. I love her to pieces.

2. I need to make some time next year to go back to El Salvador to build more houses. I think I left a piece of my heart in that little village last year. Every time I look at my pictures and recall the time I spent there, I get quite teary. Anyone want to come with me?

3. Speaking of teary, I have been missing my mom and dad like crazy. I think now that the bulk of the family drama is over, some more grieving for my dad is surfacing. Showing my folks pictures from our trip to Europe would have been fun. Some of it I imagine is seasonal. I'm always weepy in the fall, but mostly I miss my parents.

4. Must lose 50 lbs before our class reunion in October. F*ck!

5. Even though I am fatter than I want to be and it frustrates me to no end, I have LOTS to be insanely grateful for. I have a job that, though hard sometimes, doesn't require me to leave my soul at the door. Though I would like to see them more, I have good friends who would take a bullet for me. (We'll test that theory the next time I offend someone at a health care rally.) I have a marvelous and extreeeeeemely patient partner who puts up with so much of my shit that I don't believe it most days. We have not one but two homes, when someone I love very much is struggling to find one. We have two absolutely astounding critters in our home that every day bring us more and more joy. I am wildly fortunate.

6. I am failure averse and it holds me back. I don't care so much about advancing at work and taking risks there. I don't have much more aspiration in that regard. This is more on a personal and creative level. Lots of dreams, but spooked. Working on that.

7. I heard a story about someone that I have no love for who is sort of on the verge of self destructing right now. This person just really bugs the shit out of me and is selfish and cruel. I figured this day might come and always imagined that I would feel smug and righteous. To my surprise, I felt sad for this person with a hint of compassion. Does that make me a grown up?

Health Care Reform: Glad to Get This Off My Chest

I have very quickly gotten quite ill with the "debate" over health care reform recently. Actually, this is not a debate at all. It is a shouting match. Well, not even a shouting match so much because a match would presume that both sides are shouting. No, truth is that it is "patriotic" Americans from one side of the aisle shouting over the top of anyone who supports the radical notion that all Americans should have access to health care without fear of bankrupting themselves. These loud Americans call what they are doing the democratic process, yet when the other side of the aisle shouted about the lies told that got us into Iraq it was called Un-Democratic , Un-American and downright dangerous to our national security. Clearly Democracy is all about the loudest dissenters drowning out the voice of anyone with whom they disagree, then putting a folksy, flag waving spin on it to keep unthinking Americans uninformed and really only interested in the Jerry Springer entertainment value of the whole thing.

So, in the spirit of "debate", here are my objections to some of the common objections about health care reforms:

1. Whine #1: Death panels
This is completely a falsehood and I am embarrassed for Sarah Palin because she is incapable of being embarrassed for herself. Even Republicans know that this is not part of the bill, but since Sarah's display of ignorance has gotten so much press and generated so much furor among the uninformed, no one is backing down from it. End of life counseling -living wills, medical intervention orders, end of life wishes- is a voluntary choice in the bill. (Now being withdrawn from the bill because of misinterpretation by idiots.) Once every 5 years, a person can voluntarily seek out a doctor to discuss end of life issues and get help drawing up their end of life wishes. The plan would pay for this service every five years. A few years back, my doctor and I sat down and had a frank discussion about my end of life wishes (which, in case you're curious are in a box under the desk in the office). It was an awkward conversation, because these are tough decisions. That said, I want control over who makes my decisions when I am incapacitated (Curt), what level of care will be provided (pull the plug) and how my remains are disposed of (cremation, and I don't care where you put me after that). A panel of doctors didn't decide this for me and they won't decide it for you in any government funded system. Duh.

2. Whine #2: I won't be able to choose the doctor that I want.
Honey, go look at your current health care plan if you are fortunate enough to have one. Do you need to choose a network or primary clinic as a requirement of this plan? Unless you are a senator with about 16 health plan choices, I'm reasonably certain that you can't see just any old doctor you want, without paying out of network fees. Similar concept with health care reform. You will likely have a choice of network or primary clinic. No where does it say that some bureaucrat will be randomly assigning you to a clinic. Think for yourself here.

3. Whine #3: I won't be able to get in to see a doctor when I choose.
Can you now? If you can, you are lucky. I have to wait several days sometimes for an appointment and I've got pretty damn good coverage. In fact, when I was on anti-depressants, I had to schedule appointments with my shrink 4 months in advance because, like most shrinks, they have a single day or two of coverage at each clinic they work from. Also, the current state of not getting to see a doctor when one chooses also contributes to the ridiculous number of emergency room visits for non-emergencies, which drives up health care costs for all of us. Typically these non-emergency visits come from people who don't have any insurance, or from under-employed/under-insured who can't leave work during work hours to see a doctor because their employers are dicks.

4. Whine #4: We will be no better than Canada.
What the f*ck is wrong with Canada? We talk about Canada in many regards like they are a third world pariah. Enough of that. Really listen next time when health care objectors get on Meet the Press or other news programs and mention the state of Canadian health care. All their objections are based on hearsay about what happened to a friend of a friend of a friend who was denied a specific treatment. Anecdote and hearsay do not represent the state of health care in Canada. Which leads to the next whine...

5. Whine #5: I don't want anyone choosing for me which medical procedures I have done.
Wake up, dear. What do you think the insurance companies do for you? Most clinics in this country are set up so that you never have to see the insurance pre-approval process for most procedures. The only time you ever hear about it is if it is not covered and you have to pay out of pocket, or the service is denied. Then we get into situations like all the scary anecdotes coming out of Canada about insurance companies denying needed services. And, don't tell me there aren't a LOT of complaints about our current system for anecdotes just like these. Lots.

6. Whine #6: This is going to cost the country too much money.
Yes. This is going to cost the country a lot of money. Our current health care system and government funded systems (Medicare/Medicaid) already have costs that are spiraling out of control. We taxpayers are already taking it in the ass for Medicare/Medicaid. Why not do something that will help control overall costs AND provide coverage to the under insured and uninsured?

But, let's face it folks. Most people who object to health care reform really just hate the working class and the poor. You just don't want to get everyone on a reasonably level playing feel because that would make you less special, less entitled. Most Americans are so incredibly greedy and selfish that the thought of actually just raising taxes by one iota of one percent so that all Americans can have access to health care makes them cringe. You believe that the poor are not just like you, that their values of faith and family must be flawed, that if they would only pull themselves up by their bootstraps then they would be better people, that they are just fundamentally so different that you couldn't possibly imagine doing anything to help them. Yet, most of you are one paycheck away, one layoff away from being in their ranks. Then who are you going to blame? And when you find yourself in the situation where you have no health care coverage and need assistance, are you going to be angry? Are you going to say that you're a (formerly) hard working American who DESERVES health care? Hmmm. If it takes you blowhards losing your jobs to find yourselves in this situation, then may the misfortune rain down upon you so that you will wake up and realize that everyone, even the poor and different, deserve access to health care.

More Blog Miscellany

1. A few weekends back we had a marvelous crew up to the cabin. Jeff and Aldo came in from San Francisco and Carolyn and Jeff came up from Rochester. Here are some pictures.
Enjoying the pontoon. When the weather is nice, we spend more time on the docked pontoon than just about anywhere else. This particular evening the crew got lucky when a group of deer and wild turkey came down to the lake for drinks.
Our first cabin rainbow. I don't need to explain why we were excited, even if it was just a partial rainbow.

This is what happens when a guest's loon calling more closely represents the call of another of god's creatures. You know who you are. Practice might not make perfect, but it won't call the dolphins.

This is our favorite eatery in Minong- The Longbranch. The long branch is home to Nikki, Nikki and Trixie- our fabulous wait staff. The food is pretty darn good but their great service keeps us coming back.

2. We stayed home this weekend. It was our first weekend home since the beginning of May.

Between thunderstorms, I went to the farmer's market. I love the farmers market this time of year- so many great colors and smells. I have missed it with all our cabin weekends and was thrilled to take it in.

Here I am at the Uptown Art Fair. Okay, you can tell that's not me because I don't have a scorpion tattooed by my navel. Actually, this is a life size "sculpture" but I just call it creepy. I don't know that the artist ever sells anything, but he sure draws a crowd. The artist strikes me as a little off- maybe necrophiliac or something. I didn't want to get too close, though I'm not dead yet so probably needn't worry.

3. I saw a beige squirrel on Saturday. I've seen gray, red, black and white, but never beige. It was pretty, but strange. Today we saw a gray squirrel with a big white, furry tip on its tail. This was our lucky squirrel weekend.

4. There is a great editorial about the "birthers" in the Star Tribune today. Birthers are the whack jobs that, despite all evidence to the contrary, continue to try to prove that President Obama wasn't born in Hawaii. The gist of the opinion piece was that these "birthers" are just masking their racism. I couldn't agree more. We have a president whose skin is darker than yours. Get the f*ck over it.

5. The job is frustrating and I'm thinking of seeing a career counselor. My brother tells me that if my goal is to make a high hourly rate, it would likely involve a hand job. He's terribly supportive.

6. 25 more days and we'll be on our way to our Mediterranean cruise. Doesn't seem real yet, but it will the night before when I've lost my passport and am scrambling and cursing while packing. Perhaps this trip I'll do some thoughtful planning.

7. Physical fitness is a problem. Not for everyone, but it is for me. I've been too mentally wrecked after work to do much of anything but be a lay about. *sigh* Must change.

Cabin Pride

I know there are a lot of uber conservative freaks out there who think they have an idea of what the gays do when they get together- most of which is their fantasy, not ours. So, for my gentle readers, I have documented what utter depravity can happen when about 40 or so gay men and two very patient lesbians get together in the north woods of Wisconsin for Cabin Pride. On with the sickness and depravity:

These two are our friends Peter and Duane, co-hosts of the Cabin Pride festivities. Curt and I have known them for about 10 years. Wonderful guys who love dogs and have a cabin about 25 minutes from our own. Here is how the day went:

10:00 A.M.: Brunch at Peter & Duane's neighbors, Doug and Bill. Of course we had brunch. The gays invented brunch and we are proud of it.

11:00 A.M.: Parade!! Yes, we love a parade. This one was small but had many elements of bigger more populated parades. Here are some highlights.Every gay parade must start with a dyke on bike. This was no exception. This was Nell, of Nell & Laurie who live up the road from Doug & Bill. They are the sweetest things you could ever meet. She and Laurie have had a cabin in the woods for over 20 years. We're going to take them out bar hopping in Minong some evening. We might get in early that night as there are three bars in town, four if you count Grandma Links, which is like Perkins with beer.

Flag corps!! Fabulous! They spent several minutes before the parade started practicing their choreography and it showed. What they lacked in precision, they made up for in enthusiasm.

At the end of the cul de sac, they gave us some thrilling moves set to music. It consisted mostly of one guy barking out commands like "Circle! Flags up! Flags down! Maypole! Maypole!" and the others obeying. It was fun and lovely.

Every gay parade must have royalty. This was Ruby, Queen of the Bogs, from Stone Lake, WI, home of Cranberry Festival. She threw craisins instead of candy.

What Wisconsin event would be complete without a meat raffle? This gentleman was advertising for the event that would happen later in the day.

Here is the one and only float titled "Wisconsin Bait & Ballet." I'm not sure how the two go together, but it was a pretty float. The crowd went wild.

After several years of this, the straight neighbors had to join in. These are the token heterosexuals blowing kisses to the crowd.

12:00: GAMES!!If there are children watching, this would be the point where you might want to turn their little eyes away, because things get really out there and sick at this point. In this game, one partner had to put a plastic cup on his head, while the other partner had to blow a pink marshmallow out a tube with the objective of knocking the glass off the other's head. And they did this right out before God and everyone! Can you imagine?

Next was the water balloon toss. Here is Curt catching a water balloon. I had to use the sports setting on my camera to capture the fast paced action.

Here are more water balloon catchers.

2:00: Floating in the lake. CANCELLED due to crappy, cold weather. Instead, most of the crowd descended on a bar called the Crow Bar that is about 5 miles from anywhere on a highway somewhere in Wisconsin.

I was a little wary about 40 gay men just dropping in to take over their volley ball court and bar. But, you know what? Not one person in that bar deep in rural Wisconsin even flinched when we showed up, even the big guys with their mean looking girlfriends. The bartender even brought out two free rounds of frozen pudding shots for the crowd. And of course, the gays loved the place because mixed drinks were only $2 for regular liquor and $2.50 for top shelf liquor.

The bar even provided us with Polish horseshoes. I like that bar.

4:00: Meat raffle!!

The meat raffle was held back at Peter and Duane's place. It was basically meat bingo, but we let them call it a raffle anyway. Of course, the crowd went wild every single time O-69 was called. It's a tradition I guess.

After the meat raffle, was a fantastic dinner put together by Peter & Duane, followed by karaoke and dancing. Curt and I skipped out after dinner to go take care of the dogs. All in all a very satisfying day with very kind, fun people. How sick and twisted is that?

I Love a Parade

It was a little too chilly to swim at the lake this weekend. So, Curt and I thought we might take in the Spooner Rodeo Days parade. Yee haw! Here are the "highlights." If you find no highlights, well, don't be surprised. Neither did we. But we did get a lot of candy thrown at us after looking sad and holding out our hands. Fun.
The parade started with lots and lots of horses. It was Rodeo Days after all. Lots of poop and a little pee and these dazzling chaps.

A huge military display followed the horses. Family friendly parade my ass!

Amery, WI has the laziest bunch of royalty ever. They couldn't even lift their elbows to wave. They may as well have been passed out in a pile of Schlitz cans and cigarette butts on that float. Boooo. At least they dressed up.

Bad ass with Fez. Apparently Shriners have left behind their little cars for a dancing scooters. They did some nice formations, but it just wasn't as fun as little cars. I'm guessing as the Shriners age it is harder to get in and out of the little cars. Next year, electric wheelchairs.

Did you see the pictures of this guy that I posted at my bird feeders earlier this year. Cool.

Huh. How was this pageant judged? SIZE PERHAPS??? That is wrong. Wrong.

Again, the fat girl got second runner up. Hmpf.

If I have to walk one more step in this god forsaken moose costume, I'll.....

Sadly, only two marching bands showed up for the parade. The hometown band sort of bit the bag. This one was much better. I love percussion sections.

This "royalty" float, celebrating white trash obviously, was a little funny. Why? Because the two crown losers, I mean runners up, at the front were doing this staged "seig heil" sort of wave really fast and the queen at the back of the float was saying "You're waving too fast! Too fast!" The losers laughed and waved faster. They hated their queen.

These sad sacks showed up in the the middle of all the merriment with the downer signs and an even worse singer being pulled on a garden cart singing some maudlin tune. The whole crowd rolled their eyes, dug in their purses, went to get beverages, except for one lady across the street who started clapping loudly. As you know, I'm fine with expressing one's beliefs, but pick the right place and time. Merriment is not the right time for this message. And what does that sign mean anyway? That you were desperate for a rhyme?

This was a pretty cow. I like cows.

We were two blocks in on the parade route and already these kids carried the unmistakable expressions that said "I'm booooooored. I'm hooooooooott. I'm tiiiiiired." Kid, you wanted to be in the damn parade, so shape up. Smile. Get with the program or I'll take the car aerial after you.

FINALLY, the judges got it right. Hefty royalty! HOLLA!!

This large princess was second runner up but looked like more fun than any of them combined. She was having a good old time on the float. Next year. Next year.

And that about sums up the parade. Not really exciting but I'm glad we went.