Tuesday, November 20, 2007

How Good Has Your Day Been If You Haven't Bitch Slapped Someone?

If MNMom were a teacher, I would take a class from her so I could get easy assignments like this one. (She is, but I don't have enough B.O. or ciggy smell to be in her class.) She has tagg-ed (say it with two syllables for more fun) me with listing only 10 things that people do that make we want to slap them. Hold on everyone, this is going to go by fast.
1. Developing, or worse- stealing, a catch phrase, or gesture and overusing it. Slap!
2. Kicking the back of my seat in the movie theater. Slap!
3. Anyone stopping in front of me in the pencil thin isles at Trader Joe's. Slap!
4. Driving the wrong direction in an angled parking lot, even though the arrow is there to guide you, not to mention the direction of the cars. Slap! Slap!
5. Pondering choices at the salad bar while making decision noises. Slap!
6. Using of the non-word "irregardless." Slap!
7. Dressing young girls in suggestive clothing with the word "foxy" or "hottie" bedazzled on the front. Then, dressing like your children. Slap! Slap! Slap!
8. Merging at the very last minute. Slap! Slap!
9. Driving erratically while talking on your cell phone. Slap!
10. Interrupting me in a way that lets me know they haven't even started listening. Slap!

1 comment:

Mnmom said...

#4 and #8 - my husband - please feel free to slap him. He also "drives" in the passing lane.
#5 - she's still annoying you long after the salad bar trip, isn't she. Let's hunt her down and merge quickly in front of her.