Friday, April 4, 2008

Dead Rabbit

Like Kirelimel, I'm having a strange dream life recently. Last night, I had a dream in which I was about 4 months pregnant. Talk about an oops baby. In the dream, there was no explanation for my pregnancy aside from divine intervention or parthenogenesis- and I didn't even know I had eggs! But, that's not how the public saw it. I was attending a conference on some topic I don't remember, when the subject of pregnant men came up. The majority of attendees believed male pregnancy was the work of, who else, SATAN!! Bravely, I stood up and announced my pregnancy to the group, shamed them a little for being assholes and, get this, also told them that 8 years earlier, I had given birth to a little girl who was now being raised by my sister as my niece. I didn't even know that until I said it. After my little speech, I became a little afraid for my life and the life of my miracle baby and snuck out quietly.

This isn't the first time I've dreamed I was pregnant. In each dream, there is no visible means of giving birth either- no vagina anywhere. Where's miracle baby going to come out?? Anyway, this dream was probably precipitated by two things, The Oprah had on that pregnant "man" from Oregon this week and I looked at my gut in the mirror last night before going to bed, standing there in my underpants, and was horrified. Why can't I have dreams where I'm thin, or at least on the table getting liposuction? Why? :o)


Mnmom said...

My miracle babies didn't come out a vagina, so it's possible. You'd be darling pregnant. 'cept you'd have to give up sushi for 9 months . . . and coffee, fresh garlic, candy,

michaelg said...

You're right, but at least you had the options. It was those twins that were going to rip you apart.
Me? Adorable pregnant? Oh no. I would be one of those that lets myself go, surviving on Ho Hos and a multi vitamin and wearing a Bun In the Oven t-shirt with an arrow pointing down. Pretty? I think not.

kirelimel said...

Would you breast feed or do formula? cloth diapers or disposable?

michaelg said...

I say if you've got the boobs, use them. I've got the boobs. I also think you should know when to stop breast feeding. We had a neighbor who breast fed her son until he was about 4. Doing this is appropriate in some areas of the world where food is in short supply. But in the U.S. it is nasty. Sorry to any earth mothers out there, but damn.
I would do disposable diapers. My mother rinsed out cloth diapers for 6 kids and I don't think she enjoyed it one bit.

kirelimel said...

I knew to stop when teeth were on the horizon. I did cloth until they hit solid food- my motto was, once they eat meat, toss the diapers and no more teat!