Wednesday, April 23, 2008

What Have I Got Coming?

My employee C and I were talking at work today about the book "The Secret", which I have never read. C hasn't either but has seen the movie. There's a movie?? I didn't get as far as asking who played the lead- Cher, Buddy Ebson, Marcia Wallace- but the gist of it I guess is that you get in return whatever you put out into the universe. Well, let's see, that would be karma or the golden rule. I'll skip the book as I seem to grasp the basic principle.

Anyway, it seems that whenever C speaks ill of someone, her fetus in fetu flares up on her forehead, gnashing it's teeth and poking its finger in the air, as some sort of karmic retribution. (Actually it is just a big zit, but we don't have to tell her that.) I told her that she's in pretty poor shape if she needs a parasitic twin to act as her conscience. So, today to make up for her bad behavior, she very kindly helped out an older blind man regain his bearings downtown.

Oh wait, no, that wasn't why she helped. Apparently there is some ongoing thing on Dateline NBC, where they create ethical dilemmas for strangers (do I help? do I ignore the problem?), then film them to see how they react. C is convinced that she has been filmed twice ignoring things where she really should have helped. So, today she was not passing up any opportunity to appear helpful on camera. She not only helped the blind man, but picked up a piece of paper that had blown away and returned it to its owner then looked around triumphantly for the camera. Afterwards, she kvetched about looking awful on camera wearing her tennis shoes with her suit. The milk of human kindness in bad shoes, is still the milk of human kindness, right? Tomorrow, she'll probably drag me out for a walk in some Manolo Blahnik stilettos to find someone to help. (That's her in the heels, not me.) With her luck she'll find someone to help, then fall out of her heels onto her ass and we'll all be watching it Friday night on Dateline. Poor C.
(Hi C! I know you love reading about yourself in print.)


Mnmom said...

Maybe YOU could fall down in front of her stilettos and just HOPE for a camera. I've decided I must have been a dirty rat-fink in my previous life to be getting the kharmic payback I've received the past few years.
Then again, I've got great kids, a fine husband, wonderful friends, etc - perhaps I DID help old blind guys enough to rate SOME good kharma.

Cheesecake Maven said...

With my stilettos, or the closest I ever came to a high heel (work pumps) I smashed the skull of a cedar waxwing on the ped mall in Iowa City to put it out of it's misery then through it in the trash can. This was done at noon in front of all those bleeding hearts hanging out on the benches instead of actually attending class where they were supposed to be. You should have seen the looks I got! I'm sure they would have just kept staring at the poor thing until it died a long, painful death and then held a candlelight vigil for all birds that fly into the windows of the industrial complex the man has created.

Cheesecake Maven said...

I didn't mean 'industrial complex' in the above comment, I meant the skyscrapers and businesses of metro areas. I was in a hurry!

MG you'll have to ask sister RJ about the recent cafeteria hooplah over having the trays taken away for one week in an effort to reduce food waste. Pathetic. Really.

Mnmom said...

CM - do tell!

Scott J. said...

I think you should start calling her 'Earl.'