Wednesday, April 30, 2008
5 things found in your bag:
1. A testicle
2. Oh, look, another testicle.
Sorry, couldn't find anything else. Hee hee hee.
5 favorite things in your room:
1. A picture from shortly after Curt and I got together of the two of us napping at a friend's cabin.
2. Our king size bed with a great mattress.
3. A door that opens to our backyard. Convenient for letting the pooches out in the morning.
4. A print of the Lower Dam in Decorah by Carl Homstad.
5. A gorgeous piece of pottery by an artist who's name eludes me.
5 things you have always wanted to do:
1. See Europe
2. Take cooking classes and get really good with a knife
3. Be fluent in a foreign language other than pig latin
4. Sing in a musical. (specifically I want to be Elphaba in Wicked, but fat chance- oh and I can't sing that well and am probably too fat to fly)
5. Be the same person with my family that I am with my friends
5 things you are currently into:
2. Watching our early spring garden grow
4. Getting ready for my cycling trip
5. Walking the dogs
5 people you'd like to tag:
1. Scott J
2. Ruth J (start a blog! You shall have a computer at home in three days)
4. Mindy June
5. Any gentle reader who needs some inspiration
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Anyway, it seems that whenever C speaks ill of someone, her fetus in fetu flares up on her forehead, gnashing it's teeth and poking its finger in the air, as some sort of karmic retribution. (Actually it is just a big zit, but we don't have to tell her that.) I told her that she's in pretty poor shape if she needs a parasitic twin to act as her conscience. So, today to make up for her bad behavior, she very kindly helped out an older blind man regain his bearings downtown.
Oh wait, no, that wasn't why she helped. Apparently there is some ongoing thing on Dateline NBC, where they create ethical dilemmas for strangers (do I help? do I ignore the problem?), then film them to see how they react. C is convinced that she has been filmed twice ignoring things where she really should have helped. So, today she was not passing up any opportunity to appear helpful on camera. She not only helped the blind man, but picked up a piece of paper that had blown away and returned it to its owner then looked around triumphantly for the camera. Afterwards, she kvetched about looking awful on camera wearing her tennis shoes with her suit. The milk of human kindness in bad shoes, is still the milk of human kindness, right? Tomorrow, she'll probably drag me out for a walk in some Manolo Blahnik stilettos to find someone to help. (That's her in the heels, not me.) With her luck she'll find someone to help, then fall out of her heels onto her ass and we'll all be watching it Friday night on Dateline. Poor C.
(Hi C! I know you love reading about yourself in print.)
Sunday, April 20, 2008
We spent about 3 hours out in the back yard this afternoon clearing away more old growth out of the garden and removing some of the mulch around the cold hardy plants. Our plants are going to be crazy big this year. We're beside ourselves with anticipation. Of course, the dogs joined us out back. Louis plopped down in the middle of the lawn and enjoyed the sunshine. He warms up nicely since he's black and just lays there looking all blissed out. Claire went between lying on the patio in the full sun to lying next to the shed in the shed chewing on sticks. She's our wood chipper. Dogs have it rough at our house. Being cute is a full time job I guess.
After the garden we cleaned off the patio and put got our patio furniture out of winter storage. Then we did an amazing thing. We used the the chaise lounges. To most folks, this wouldn't be much of an accomplishment, but we bought the darn things two years ago and have kept ourselves so busy in the back yard we just haven't used them. Today though, we each soaked up the sun for about 15 minutes. Sweet. Curt got just the slightest sun burn on his bald head. I got a little color on my cheeks. Radiant.
After that, Curt took off for a walk, while I prepared soup. Not just any soup, but a soup recipe from the Cheesecake Maven called Upstate Minestrone Soup. I was attracted to the recipe because it has meatballs. I'm a meatball guy, what can I say? Curt was a little whiny about one of the ingredients- cabbage- until he tasted the soup. YUMMMMMMYYYYYY! Thanks mucho, Maven.
After dinner, we took the pooches for a long walk, stopped to visit with neighbor Judy and headed home. A lovely Sunday indeed.
1. A mom from the opposing team was just plain rude and yelled things like "It's okay girls. You can do it. They're not very fast." Okay, first of all, you hag with man hands in your Chic high waisted mom jeans, these girls are 14 and this is league play. We're trying to encourage skill development and sportsmanship. I didn't see a sports scholarship in her daughter's future either. Secondly, we're sitting less then 18 inches from you. You do not want to see MNMom go after her car aerial and open a can of whoop ass all over you. You just don't'.
2. Both teams had nearly identical uniforms. It was hard for me to keep up with which side of the net our team was on. Couldn't one team have worn a dazzling broach to distinguish themselves from the other?? So, confusing. I suggested to MNMom that I could design fabulous new uniforms for the team, which reminded me of this clip from Kids in the Hall. This one is for you MNMom and twins-
Saturday, April 19, 2008
7 pairs of jeans
9 casual/dress pants
20 casual shirts
4 dress shirts
4 athletic shorts
2 pairs of shoes
and most painful of all....
about 15 lbs of cotton fabric (many, many yards).
The thing that feels best that I got rid of are all the pants- these were skinny pants that have been following me around for about 8 years. Who the hell needs that kind of reminder every time they open the closet? Out with the bad.
In with the good.... I only bought one piece of pottery this afternoon at the ACC show. Mental discipline. Yeah right.
Friday, April 18, 2008
So, it's not even 10:30 and I'm heading off to bed to read. No, not a great novel, but quilting magazines. I've a got a foot high stack of them on my night stand. Thank deity of your choosing I'm not able to sleep in clothes, because I'm pretty certain I would pick a flannel night gown at this point in my descent into old womanhood.
Tomorrow could be a slightly more exciting day. In the morning, I'm going to improve both my feng and my shui by doing some lighten my load (of stuff) activities followed by a trip to exciting St. Paul for the American Craft Council show. There will be potters, so I should perhaps keep my credit cards locked up. Nah.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
2. The quilt was entirely quilted on a home sewing machine- every feather, every grain of wood. Outstanding.
3. The quilt took one year of planning and three months of vigorous execution to get it right. During execution, the quilter used the local church basement ladies to provide feedback. Church basement ladies rock!
4. Most quilters are women. This quilter was a MAN, baby! Woo hoo!
As usual, there were about 400 vendors to empty our bank accounts. The strangest was an entire double booth devoted to patterns for Bedazzlers. I threatened RB that I was going to buy the Texas! pattern and bedazzle it on the ass of all her pants while she slept. (Note to self: remember not to tell the people selling the tool for affixing Swarovski hot fix crystals that they are selling bedazzlers. They're a bit uppity and humorless.)
The best vendor was Martelli products. Their demonstrator is a handsome young guy in a clingy cotton polo shirt and nicely fit blue jeans. This guy knows how to work a crowd of 10,000 old hens and me. His tactic is this: when you are trying the product, he reaches across the table, puts his hand gently on yours and helps you achieve the correct hand position. SOLD! The ladies (and me) swoon and buy lots of his products. Last year I bought a rotary cutter from this guy without even hearing much of the presentation. RB and I are plotting a booth next year staffed by shirtless cabana boys. We don't know what we'll sell, but it won't matter. We'll still rake in the cash.
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
English's son, 21-year-old Ronnie English, said Vicious "wasn't really vicious" and blamed Johnston for getting bit by his 70-pound dog.
"The lady socked him," the son said. "What kind of idiot really gets in the middle of a dog fight?"
There is a certain amount of contrition that you would expect from the owners of a dog that killed someone else's family pet. This isn't the right amount.
Monday, April 7, 2008
Can you believe this was subtitled for release in another country?
This clip goes out to MNMom who is raising not one but two 14 year old girls. Of course, her parenting skills are slightly more advanced than my dear friend Dawn Davenport here.
From the John Water's flick 'Female Trouble'
Sunday, April 6, 2008
Next, I ran some errands that included stopping at my all time favorite quilt shop, Colorful Quilts, in St. Paul, Best Buy to pick up some geek things for my computer and Rocco Altobelli for a snappy new do. All this and home shortly after noon. Fabulous.
After three hours in which we got about 2/3 of the gardens done, we called it quits for the day. Curt suggested a Dairy Queen visit. I love him so. A couple of hours after DQ, I fired up the grill for the first time this year and put on some jazzed up red potatoes and two t-bone steaks (thanks, Dad!) and put some biscuits in the oven. We ate in front of the TV while we watched "La Vie En Rose." If you haven't seen it, do. Of course, the gays love Edith Piaf, just like we love all bigger than life, talented and tragic women who die before their time. It's true.
Then we were off to bed. Curt read 'Middlesex' while I read Quilting Arts magazine. Louis was curled up at the foot of the bed and Claire snored under the bench. A perfect spring day. Ahhhh.
Friday, April 4, 2008
This isn't the first time I've dreamed I was pregnant. In each dream, there is no visible means of giving birth either- no vagina anywhere. Where's miracle baby going to come out?? Anyway, this dream was probably precipitated by two things, The Oprah had on that pregnant "man" from Oregon this week and I looked at my gut in the mirror last night before going to bed, standing there in my underpants, and was horrified. Why can't I have dreams where I'm thin, or at least on the table getting liposuction? Why? :o)
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
That said, I do need to post a single quote from former supermodel, now ANTM judge, Paulina Poritzkova (sp?). When Katarzsyna approaced the judges tonight with a new haircut, Paulina says, "I like your new haircut. It gets rid of your eastern European tackiness."
Sweet. Thanks for the compliment. That's so nice.