Boy, oh, boy. I am already sick of holiday music and we have a few weeks to go. A good carol, sung in church is one thing. Jazzy or pop versions of holiday classics make me insane. For example:
1. Macy's has their holiday loop going. Each time I visit I hear Jingles Bells- not the happy upbeat tune I fondly recall from my childhood. No. Instead it is a dated jazzed up version in which the male crooner sings a line, followed by a trio (or so) of women singing "I like a sleigh ride." So the song goes:
Dashing through the snow
I like a sleigh ride
In a one horse open sleigh
I like a sleigh ride
O'er the fields we go
I like a sleigh ride
Lauging all the way
I like a sleigh ride
Bells on bobbed tail ring
I like a sleigh ride
... and so on until I'm ready to puke. Make it stop!
2. Our cafeteria at work has a CD going called Inspirational Christmas that contains a jazzed up version of The Holly and the Ivy. This is a lovely melody when sung straight. However, with syncopated phrasing and a choir that sounds like The @%$#*@&! New Christy Minstrels on happy pills (hork!), it gets under my skin. Quickly. Deeply.
3. Any version of Little Drummer Boy or Do You Hear What I Hear is a bad thing. These songs should be sung only by 2nd graders, not Celine Dion or David Bowie paired with Bing Crosby. Feh! Feh!
Okay. Cock. Aim for the speakers. Shoot.
I feel better now.
5 comments:
Parumpafuckingpum. Next you'll tell me you're stealing toys from the orphanage fund or eating the homeless' turkey dinner.
Embrace the cheesiness. Consider it the Hickory Farms Cheddar spread of music.
I am sickening, I know it.
Feh to the David Bowie/Bing duet? oh, now that's just too bad. Somebody needs a fruitcake and some eggnog.
Hey now - I love the Bowie/Bing duet. Watch for it later in my "Great Moments of Christmas" series. My family listened to The New Christy Minstrels at every chance. As a kid I always wondered . . if they were the NEW Christy Minstrels, whatever happened to the old ones? Guess they just couldn't cut the mustard and were let go.
Bah! Yes. I'm stealing from orphans and throwing eggs at victorian carolers. Puh-leeaaze.
It isn't that bad. I love a good Christmas carol, but I just don't like it too messed with. And, hey, I like some cheesy Christmas tunes like All I Want for Christmas Is You. Maybe I'll make a list of the things I do like about Christmas just to prove I'm not so bad.
I did that too - what we resist, persists.
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