Sunday, March 9, 2008

America's Next Top Model Week 3

Clearly winter has sucked the life out of me when I have no enthusiasm for talking about ANTM. What is wrong with me?

This past week's show was interesting. It has become abundantly clear that Fatima, the circumcised (she only mentioned it twice this week, which is pretty good for her), is a clueless beeyotch. Last week she "accidentally" whacked Marvita in the face and refused to apologize. This week she told recovering anorexic Allison that her ass looked big. Nice, that's like telling me I have fine lines and wrinkles or scars. Allison, who is junior in her beeyotch-ness to Fatima, said some pretty shitty things in return, not just about Fatima, but about black women in general. She's a class act this one. Allison, also went on and on about her experience as a model and how this gives her such a great advantage over the other girls in the competition. Uh oh. Can you smell it coming?

Anyway, it was makeover week. Fatima got rid of her hideous hair in exchange for a lovely dark weave. She moaned and cried all the way through the weave. Tough up, beeyotch. Marvita, got a horse mane looking weave. My emerging favorite Claire, who shares her name with our dog, got a short bleach blond boy cut that looked marvelous.

The photo shoot was on a yacht that looked suspicously like a garbage barge with the Brooklyn Bridge in the background. None of the shots caught anyone jumping from the bridge or terrorists planting bombs, so the bulk of them were a little boring. Allison, the forementioned stupid beeyotch with all the experience, took a really dull picture, resembling Crack Ho Barbie- plastic looking body with a dazed, vacant stare. Fatima, for all her bitchiness took a nice picture, too. Now, Marvita I owe an apology to. She still looks manly, but took a mean ass picture as you shall see below.

So, when it came to judging. Most of the girls did okay. Allison approached the judges, who told her she looked so soft and pretty. Allsion replied "I know." Nigel said that "thank you" might also be in order, but Allison just stood there and sort of posed. The final two were, you guessed it, Allision and Dominique, who I swear is 40. Allison, clueless conceieted junior beeyotch was sent packing. Hee hee hee.

No comments: