"I know premarital sex is bad, but couldn't we use her to show someone making the right choice? You know, getting married and having the baby."
"Yeah. Like the movie Juno, except different."
"Yeah. I think this is a positive thing in the long run."
"Yeah. Won't make us look so rigid."
"Now what do we do about that signed abstinence pledge her pastor is about to produce for the media?"
"I don't know. Those don't seem to be working so well, but we can't let anyone know."
"How much do you think the pastor needs to stay quiet?"
"Well, everyone has their price. But I bet we can get the pregnant youngster to sign an afidavit saying her signature was forged."
"Yeah. That'll keep that pastor quiet."
"Yeah. Yeah. Okay. What about that 4 month old with Down's Syndrome? We've got to milk that somehow."
My advice to this pregnant young lady- RUN! RUN! RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN! YOU'RE ABOUT TO BECOME A POSTER CHILD FOR SOMETHING YOU HAD NO CONCEPT OF WHEN YOU WERE JUST BORED AND HAVING SEX! RUN! RUN! I KNOW THERE IS NOTHING TO DO IN ALASKA EXCEPT TIP ELK AND HAVE SEX. NO PROBLEM! JUST GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE! FAST!