Monday, September 1, 2008

Imagine the Conversations...

...in the room full of Republicans vetting the Alaska governor as running mate who knew that Sarah Palin's daughter was 5 months pregnant.

"I know premarital sex is bad, but couldn't we use her to show someone making the right choice? You know, getting married and having the baby."

"Yeah. Like the movie Juno, except different."

"Yeah. I think this is a positive thing in the long run."

"Yeah. Won't make us look so rigid."

"Now what do we do about that signed abstinence pledge her pastor is about to produce for the media?"

"I don't know. Those don't seem to be working so well, but we can't let anyone know."

"How much do you think the pastor needs to stay quiet?"

"Well, everyone has their price. But I bet we can get the pregnant youngster to sign an afidavit saying her signature was forged."

"Yeah. That'll keep that pastor quiet."

"Yeah. Yeah. Okay. What about that 4 month old with Down's Syndrome? We've got to milk that somehow."

My advice to this pregnant young lady- RUN! RUN! RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN! YOU'RE ABOUT TO BECOME A POSTER CHILD FOR SOMETHING YOU HAD NO CONCEPT OF WHEN YOU WERE JUST BORED AND HAVING SEX! RUN! RUN! I KNOW THERE IS NOTHING TO DO IN ALASKA EXCEPT TIP ELK AND HAVE SEX. NO PROBLEM! JUST GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE! FAST!

2 comments:

kirelimel said...

As long as it's a fetus the Republicans will love it, now say she'd already given birth...well, that would be different story. And pity the poor schnook who impregnated that girl- I'm sure they're madly in love, what with the fact that five months later they are still not married, hmmm. But long live the fetus!!!!!!!!

Mnmom said...

Abstinence only works wonders, don't it???

Did anyone in the room mention that really good moms don't ditch their teens and their "supposed" newborn special needs son for an 80-hour per week high profile job?? The hypocrisy of the Family Values crowd never ceases to amaze me.