I don't know exactly what goes wrong or how, but it seems that very nearly every day my employee C the benevolent and I end up off topic. Way off topic. Today for example, we started in on some detailed work around compensation planning and quickly found ourselves talking about gas. Not the kind you pump, well sort of, but the kind I more fondly like to think of by the name of a company that used to exist in my home town- People's Natural Gas. (Fortunately, they were bought out by another larger company and took their name.) She told me of a particularly gassy co-worker whose farts she described as hot, heavy and skin blistering. I told her the men's room smells like this all the time and she shouldn't be surprised.
We then devolved into our ever favorite topic- fetus in fetu followed quickly by conjoined twins. She told me about a documentary she'd seen recently about a two headed girl going to get her driver's license and that both girls had to pass the test. I pondered whether they could use the car pool lane. (This girl[s] apparently lives here in the Twin Cities area and my friend G, who was her/their neighbor, and I had a similar conversation about this girl years ago when we wondered if an employer could pay them one salary instead of two and what might happen when one got fired.) Anyway, we then briefly turned on our empathy and thought about what it must be like when conjoined twins disagree and how decisions are made when one wants to do something the other is opposed to. I told her that if she and I were conjoined, I would just go completely limp and let her drag my fat ass around to whatever it was she wanted to do. I think she said she'd slap me. We then stood up and tried to figure out how we would get through our upcoming cross country ski lesson on three legs. It was a productive 15 minutes at work. I am a hideous example of a boss.