After work, I'm flipping through some entertainment news on the web (because the Israel-Palestine-Gaza mess isn't uplifting enough) and saw the headline "Former Mousketeer Dies." Immediately I think that Annette Funicello has finally kicked the beach ball. So my morbid curiosity gets the best of me and I follow the link. No, it wasn't Annette, it wasn't Cubby, it was a minor Mouseketeer named Cheryl- Cheryl Holdridge to be exact. Okay. It's sad and she seems to have married some interesting men in her post mouse life and her memorial is all going well until I read this thoughtful tribute:
"She certainly was a very pretty blond and just had a very winning personality," said Lorraine Santoli, author of "The Official Mickey Mouse Club Book" and a former Disney publicist.
First off, I can see why she's a former Disney publicist.
Secondly, could she have said anything else to completely defrock this woman of any accomplishments or of having a life at all?
When I die, I sure as hell hope that each one of you will have a thoughtful thing or two to say at my funeral and to the press, just in case they ask. If, in fact, any of you are tempted to eulogize me by saying "He certainly had brown hair, was chubby and thought he was funny" please reconsider. I will haunt you. I will. And I hope poor Cheryl with the winning personality is doing so for that Lorraine bitch about now.
6 comments:
Hey, be like me....write your own eulogy. To trust such importance to my friends would be ludicrous. They could never exalt me as well as I deserve!
Re: the Publicist. That no doubt was a line she used over and over in her job! "She certainly was a pretty blond and just had a very winning personality". It describes about everyone who ever made an appearance on the MMC, ever watched the MMC, or ever applied to be on the MMC, or ever sat in the audience! She is the poster child for politically correct. Inside she is probably busting to say, "Ya know- she couldn't sing for sh*&^, I don't know how she got hired. She was nice enough I'll give her that - I also think she was really a brunette, but who am I...."
MG-my mom proof read her own eulogy...it was rather good.
"She certainly was a very pretty blond and just had a very winning personality,"
"Haw nice," as the would say in the south...
Have you ever been to a funeral where the pastor(or equivalent) obviously did not know the deceased very well? Painful. I'm still pissed at the pastor who gave my grandfather's eulogy. He was 97, deaf, and lived in Florida during the cold month's but when he was in town, he walked to church every Sunday, always had my sister following along in the hymnal and program with him so he knew where they were at, and asked to have the sermon printed out so he could read along. During his funeral, the pastor made comments like " though he wasn't in church often" and "even though he didn't participate in church much...". What did she want him to do, be an usher and organize the next fund raiser??? He was 97 for God sake!!! I'm still pissed.
suzie - welcome back! We were preparing your eulogy in fact!
I never knew that about your grandpa's funeral!
At your funeral, I'll say that you had a really nice beat and you were easy to dance to. I'm also going to tell everyone that there was nothing you liked better than a big plate of nachos and a large Mt. Dew from the Super America, and that you wanted a NASCAR graphic carved into your headstone. And in lieu of flowers, please make contributions to the Republican party. Better plan to outlive me.
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