Friday, January 30, 2009
2. My soon to be former boss and his senior leaders surprised me today. They gave me a send off gift of a $100 gift card to Kincaids and a really sweet card filled with nice words from them. That was unexpected and very thoughtful. I'm not even leaving the department. I'll just be in a different position that doesn't work directly with that group any more. It's nice to be missed in advance. I take back almost all the horrible things I've ever said about them.
3. Curt and I went to see Spring Awakening tonight. I really liked it, but didn't love it. At intermission, Curt and I both looked at each other and said almost in unison "Does Martha look like Mary Katherine Gallaghers best friend in Superstar?" We were both half expecting her to sing her song about incest with a lateral syllable displacement while knocking girls down with a basketball.
4. We have a foreign contractor in the office who hasn't discovered the proper etiquette about the amount of cologne to wear to work. Holy shit. You can smell him for a long, long time after he has left the area. One need not be a bloodhound to find this guy.
5. I have a massage appointment tomorrow morning with my new favorite therapist Conan. Despite the name, Conan is a spritely little fellow whose hands get really excited when he comes across a knot in my back. His trigger point work is flawless. I've also had facialists at the same place get really excited when they find a blackhead to extract. They clearly interview for passion.
6. Facebook, while fun, can be kind of a time sucker. I'm visiting with people I haven't visited with in a long time, so that's cool. And, I posted a zitty photo of my self from the 10th grade with a friends permed afro photoshopped over my own hair. I thought it was really funny until I got a message in my inbox that proclaimed "I remember that perm on you!" Shit.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
So, this happened to me when I arrived on the lobby floor with another person. The door opens. There are people waiting. A polite war ensues. Fortunately, an outsider (read not Lutheran)- we'll call her Abbie, a gorgeous Asian woman who is as big as a key chain and looks like a million bucks everyday- is standing outside the door. She immediately recognizes the polite war, looks at us menacingly and very near the top of her lungs yells "GET OUT! GET OUT!" and proceeds to shoo us from the elevator. I started laughing and exited. The other Lutheran onlookers looked at Abbie like she had ridden in on her broom, but of course said nothing. Abbie is my new folk hero.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Anyway, it is 1986 - 88 and I'm living in Iowa City. Cash machines must have been a relatively new concept because there didn't seem to be many around. The best one for students was on the main floor of the Capitol City mall and there was always always a long line between classes. It seemed that every time I got in line, so did a blind man- we'll call him Tim. Tim would find the end of the line- I don't know how he did it or how many people he beat with his cane on the way there- and stand back there and yell "I'M A BLIND MAN AND NEED TO GO TO THE FRONT OF THE LINE! I'M BLIND. WOULD YOU PLEASE LET ME GO TO THE FRONT OF THE LINE? IT TAKES ME LONGER TO GET TO CLASS AND I NEED TO GO TO THE FRONT OF THE LINE!"
Of course, being from a small town without a lot of exposure to people with disabilities, I let him go ahead of me the first time. After that it just got obnoxious and there were usually 4 or 5 people ahead of Tim who just stood there in uncomfortable silence. If there was no response, Tim would tap at the back of the line with his cane and if he didn't find a clear path to the ATM, he would shout "YOU'RE BEING VERY RUDE! I'M A BLIND MAN AND I NEED TO GO TO THE FRONT OF THE LINE! YOU'RE VERY RUDE!" At this point, people would try to reason and say "Hey, dude, we're all in a hurry and all need to wait our turn." Tim would yell back again about how rude we were and yelled until he eventually reached the ATM.
Well, it turned out that this wasn't the only place that Tim was working the blind angle. Oh no. The library, fast food restaurants, it was anywhere that Tim went. "I'M BLIND! YOU'RE RUDE! I'M BLIND!" Blah. Blah. Blah.
So, anyway, here's the mean part. After putting up with this for about a year, a few of us were driving through downtown Iowa City and who did we see but Tim, tapping his way down the sidewalk. Without thinking too hard about it, I rolled down my window and yelled, "Hey! Look out for the construction in front of you!" Tim tapped his cane a lot, yelled a little and went on his merry way. I am not proud. Was that so wrong?
Sunday, January 25, 2009
2. The curse of giant feet continues. I had to special order the cross country ski boots I wanted in a ridiculously large size and they still didn't fit. *sigh* Settled for a pair I didn't really want, but they'll have to do.
3. New celebrity crush: Jon Hamm. And no, Mindy, I'm not done yet with Hugh Jackman. You can't have him yet. Here is Jon Hamm:
5. Since the pond heater isn't keeping up very well this winter for the birds, I bought a new heated bird batch and mounted it on our deck railing. It is a hit. So far the juncos, sparrows and starlings have found it.
6. After sleeping in until almost 8 a.m. (unheard of) I did virtually nothing today except feed the birds, scan in old pictures and finish Resident Evil 4. I haven't had a day like that in a long time. Didn't even leave the house.
7. I am so looking forward to our upcoming trip to Puerto Vallarta that it is becoming a distraction. I will likely get fired at work for checking the Puerto Vallarta web cam several times a day. Must stop this behavior.
8. I am realizing that if I wish to complete the 9th, 10th and 11th generations to my family genealogy project that it will probably take me the rest of my life and that's with reasonable cooperation from the strangers that are my 5th and 6th and 7th cousins. A legacy project perhaps, but I don't think anyone would care. Reconsidering.
9. I have a new co-worker who really bugs me. She sucks up to superiors in a really annoying way, then condescends to her peers. I want to tell her to grow up, but that would give her more reason to be a puke.
10. One more thing, would it be too much trouble for Mickey Rourke to at least appear to have showered before going to an awards show? Dang.
This is my mom on my folk's wedding day on December 3, 1955. Look how cute she is. She was 25 when she and my dad were married. After the wedding, my mom put her dress into it's original Dayton's box where it stayed on a shelf in her closet. I remember seeing it once over the years when she was still around. Judging from the layer of dust on the box, I don't think it had seen the light of day for many, many years.
When we were cleaning out my parent's house this past summer, it appeared that none of my other siblings wanted the dress. So, being the secretly sentimental fool that I am, I put it on my list of things that I wanted from the estate. The dress was in pretty rough shape. The netting felt extremely brittle. The whole dress was stained yellow and brown from years spent in a non-acid free box and wrapped in blue tissue paper. The sequins were tarnished. The lace seemed very fragile.
So, I did some research and found a wedding gown restoration place nearby and took it in back in November. I think I wrote about crying all the way there and all the way back. What a mess. Anyway, just about two months later I get the call that it is ready. I had no idea what to expect, if any of it could even be salvaged. But, I picked it up yesterday and here it is. They did an AMAZING job. It is completely free of any discoloration. The netting and lace that I thought would dissolve are in wearable condition.
So, now the dress goes back into it's fresh acid free box with a 100 year guarantee against any discoloration. I have no idea what to do with it other than hold on to it for sentimental reasons. I probably spent more getting the dress restored than what my mom originally paid for it. I wonder if my folks are shaking their heads, thinking I should have spent my money more wisely or if they get it and appreciate the gesture. Probably a bit of both. I miss them.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
I'm a really novice skier. This was my third time in the last two weeks and before that it has been 26 years. So, anyway, I did the Lagoon Loop without any problems, climbed a hill and did one of the learning loops, the did the Lakeview Loop. Near the end of the Lakeview Loop, you get the option of skiing down a small hill to the recreation center directly or finishing the full loop. Finishing the full loop involves going down a good sized hill to the right then making a sharp left. Let's just say I didn't make it to the sharp left. I got going way too fast, panicked and sat down HARD on my butt. I don't know how it happened, but I swear my butt cheeks magically separated to expose my tail bone to the universe and down I went. It was one of those where I could feel it in my gut and gave me a brief sensation where I questioned whether I had pooped in my pants. (This is a theme, isn't it MnMom?) You know what I'm talking about? Anway, I walked it off and headed back to the rec center on foot. I will suffer for this tomorrow. Pray for my ass.
Monday, January 19, 2009
That last part might be what makes me a little luke warm now that I think about it. The sane, respectful side of is saying that it is great and about time that we have someone who will respect the views of everyone, even when they disagree. The dark, wa-wa-baby side of me is thinking "Wouldn't it be great to have a democratic president and congress that will just come in and piss all over effigies of George Bush and Dick Cheney on their first day of business and treat the other side in the way that we've been treated for the last 8 years? Wouldn't it?" We've taken a lot of abuse in the last 8 years. We were dismissed wholesale by the "winning team." We were accused of not being patriotic at any hint of dissension. The economy is on its knees. Friends are struggling financially. Our reputation around the world is shit. Our civil rights are threatened. And yet, we are supposed to rise above.
There was an editorial in my home town paper a few weeks back from a freak who said that Obama would never be his president. He signed his name. I'm fairly certain that I could do a little research and find editorials he's written accusing Dems of being unpatriotic for disagreeing with the asshole in chief throughout the last 8 years. What would HE say if I accused him of being unpatriotic for not supporting the president of USA!? USA! Fucker. But, I will rise above and not harass this ass hat. I always seem to manage, however bitter it is.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
2. We've been having robin sightings in our yard. It's January. I guess some robins will hang around marshes during the winter, and there is one near by. However, I've also read that many of the hangers-on will die. So, Michael to the rescue. I run out and buy $45 worth of freeze dried mealworms, rush out to the yard, sprinkle some on the ground near the feeders, sprinkle some on the ground near the pond and turn around to see our dog Claire gleefully gobbling them up under the feeders. No kisses for you, naughty girl.
3. My butt hurts today from #1 above but I think is about a full 2 inches higher in elevation. If I keep this up, I might have a nice ass by springtime under all my fat.
4. I'm trying to get Curt to sign up on Facebook, but need a better sales pitch. So far it has included "It is completely stupid, but kind of fun." That one didn't work. How else would you describe it?
5. On Facebook, my brother asked one of his friends about her profile picture like this "How are you suppose to attract men if you've got this "Damn. my dildo broke again" look on your face?" Should I use this as propaganda to attract Curt to Facebook? I tried. He still hasn't signed up but was deeply amused by my brother.
6. Chastising MNMom's teens for their Facebook grammar has, I'm sure, quickly made me their most popular friend. But, really, don't you have to speak up when someone writes "JC is blaaaa Sunday" or "MC is paranoia runs deep." ?? My god, it's an outrage. I may lose my first Facebook friends, but probably not my last. Must consult that damn Carnegie book again.
7. I finally purchased tickets to the touring version of Spring Awakening. I've been enjoying the sound track for a while now. Mostly though, I just love Duncan Sheik. He is fine and talented- a splendid combination.
8. I resisted the urge to clean again today. Who am I kidding? I have no urge to clean. I just didn't clean again. Need to improve in this area.
Friday, January 9, 2009
"She certainly was a very pretty blond and just had a very winning personality," said Lorraine Santoli, author of "The Official Mickey Mouse Club Book" and a former Disney publicist.
First off, I can see why she's a former Disney publicist.
Secondly, could she have said anything else to completely defrock this woman of any accomplishments or of having a life at all?
When I die, I sure as hell hope that each one of you will have a thoughtful thing or two to say at my funeral and to the press, just in case they ask. If, in fact, any of you are tempted to eulogize me by saying "He certainly had brown hair, was chubby and thought he was funny" please reconsider. I will haunt you. I will. And I hope poor Cheryl with the winning personality is doing so for that Lorraine bitch about now.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
We then devolved into our ever favorite topic- fetus in fetu followed quickly by conjoined twins. She told me about a documentary she'd seen recently about a two headed girl going to get her driver's license and that both girls had to pass the test. I pondered whether they could use the car pool lane. (This girl[s] apparently lives here in the Twin Cities area and my friend G, who was her/their neighbor, and I had a similar conversation about this girl years ago when we wondered if an employer could pay them one salary instead of two and what might happen when one got fired.) Anyway, we then briefly turned on our empathy and thought about what it must be like when conjoined twins disagree and how decisions are made when one wants to do something the other is opposed to. I told her that if she and I were conjoined, I would just go completely limp and let her drag my fat ass around to whatever it was she wanted to do. I think she said she'd slap me. We then stood up and tried to figure out how we would get through our upcoming cross country ski lesson on three legs. It was a productive 15 minutes at work. I am a hideous example of a boss.
Monday, January 5, 2009
Sunday, January 4, 2009
2. Because of #1, my upper left eyelid has been twitching all day. It is visible to
3. Yesterday at 4:00 p.m. we stepped out of the house to find my car covered in ice. Freezing rain. Instead of canceling plans to pick up our friend Marina and go to the casino, we scraped the ice off the car and set out in the freezing rain. Dumb. No accidents, not even close, but dumb, dumb dumb. I did leave the casino up slightly. Nice.
4. I have been entering genealogical data- 500 persons so far- into the latest version of Family Tree Maker and have been able to find source data for about half the records. My thought has been to get the Larson family history (my paternal grandma) updated to the present day. The most recent history goes to 1972, so I'm only about two generations behind. Is it worth it? Hmmm. Lots of work. Hmmmm. Still pondering. Does anyone my age in the family care about this?
5. #4 is what I woke up thinking about at 4:00 a.m. I was a little haunted before going to bed by a story about a distant relative who lost several small children to diphtheria and buried them two at a time in the same casket. Note to self: no "light" reading just before bed time while your empathy is turned on.
6. As it relates to #4 above, it seems that I am somehow related to just about everyone I know from my hometown in one way or another. It is fortunate that I'm gay because it lessens the chance that a pinhead baby with the banjo gene will come forward from my breeding efforts. Whew.
7. For weeks, have been alternately craving hot & sour soup and/or rommegrot. For the uninitiated, rommegrot consists of cooked cream, flour, butter and sugar- a fabulous Norwegian comfort food- at least now. In the old days it was a subsistence type meal and you didn't get the sugar. I've been choosing hot & sour soup only because there is not a restaurant in sight that has rommegrot. This is better for my arteries, I know, but rommegrot is damn tasty. Damn tasty.
8. Sunday seems to be crock pot dinner day at our house. Last week, made Iowa cut pork chops with veggies, the week before chicken chili (yum). This week, beef stew. I even have a loaf of sourdough rising right now. I'm not going to lie and tell you that I kneaded it myself. I let the bread maker do that. I hear the collective *gasp!* from the bread purists. No shame. I accept no shame for this. Raspberry to you.
9. The Minnesota Vikings are in their first playoff game in 8 years at 3:30 today. The best we can hope for is that they don't suck. But, they do kind of suck, so we can hope they don't suck as much at least.
10. I am on the Facebook now. I don't get it, but I do get to see randomness posted by others. Is that the point?
Friday, January 2, 2009
I can't recall if I loved this song or was annoyed by it in the 80's. I know I loved Rock Me Amadeus, so who knows?
Here is a list of the search criteria used within the last two weeks with which you can find my humble blog if you are ever in a pinch. In some instances I have indicated the location out of curiosity. I have also added links to some of the posts that they found.
- "it wasn't me I swear" film
- Kelly Jean Ohl
- Littlecrossdresser.com (Eugene, OR)
- lisa the stripper on americas next top model
- gays boys wears in winter (Egypt)
- pacman mutation
- popular coats for teenage boys
- fashion for teenage boys
- "america's next top model" kitchen utensils
- characteristics of Christmas (Nigeria)
- it wasn't me I swear
- teenage boys fashion
- i hate "sound of music"
- fashionable jacket for 12 year old boy
- Bristol Palin
- characteristics of gay teenage boys
- teen boy coats
- Toni Tenniel (misspelled by searcher in Indiana and in the comments section. Travesty.)
- sexiest man characteristic
- hate the sound of music
- 5 traits of Scrooge
#3 concerns me a little. If there is some big pervert out in Eugene, OR masturbating to my girlish little 10 year old self, then I say "Eeewwwwwww. Get a frickin' real hobby and quit trying to look up my skirt."
I'm thrilled to know that others out there hate the Sound of Music enough to google "hate the sound of music"
#22 is worth a re-read if only to see Melinda June say "Parumpafuckingpum" in her comments.
And, of course, #20 is always worth a look.